ALABAMA – At a campaign stop in Selma, Newt Gingrich took the stage… then disappeared!
Sources in Alabama say Republican Presidential candidate, Newt Gingrich, fell into a wormhole, and was heading back to the planet that, some say, he originally came from.
“Newt came him from Planet Boron and it looks like he’s heading back there for a while,” said a campaign adviser to Gingrich.
Some have said before that Newt is living in an alternate reality, but sources close to his campaign say that the public has misinterpreted Gingrich. “People think he is out of touch with mainstream America, but it’s really not his fault. He’s from another planet, and has traveled back-and-forth through a wormhole for years. It has altered his view of the world, but it has not altered his reality.”
Sources in Georgia say that Gingrich was attracted his wife, Callista, because she is also from Planet Boron and that they met while traveling through the wormhole together.
“Callista is a perfect match for Gingrich,” said a friend of Callista’s. “They understand each other, because they are both from another planet. They even speak in high-pitched tones that only they can understand. It’s really cute.”
Gingrich still holds onto hope that he will be President of the United States. Some alien experts believe that Gingrich didn’t “fall” into the wormhole, but rather was called back to Planet Boron by the elders of the planet, so that they can “smack some sense into him.”
Meanwhile, rumors that Gingrich is pregnant are not true. Yes, he looks like his carrying an alien baby… but he is not.