BATON ROUGE, LA – After their crushing defeat in November the Republican Party was left with no clear leader. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal hopes to fill the power vacuum, and has entered talks with Satan to do just that.
Jindal and his lawyers contacted the Prince of Darkness, most likely through Craigslist, and are currently negotiating an IS-w1 deal, immortal soul for one wish, that would have Jindal crowned the figurehead of the Republican Party. Despite his formidable legal team, if granted the nomination Jindal will certainly not escape with his soul.
Jindal is well acquainted with Satan, having led his high school Exorcism team to the state championships three years in a row.
If the deal goes through and he is chosen he will be anointed with ram’s blood in the basement of the Fox News headquarters.
More on this story, as it develops.