Submit your photo to Weekly World News
TOP STORIES
twinkie
wild_hogs_atlanta

BIDEN TO CHINESE: ONE-CHILD POLICY IS “A DANDY”


BEIJING  – VP Joe Biden complimented the Chinese on their one-child policy and said  “sure would love to get that going in America.”

Vice-President Joe Biden is in China trying to revive the financial image of the United States after a first-ever downgrade in its financial rating. In attempting to explain some of the financial concerns the U.S. faces.  In a public speech Biden told the Chinese “look, I know we’re a little late on our payments but we’ve hit a patch of bad luck, can you give us a few more  years?”

The answer from the Chinese:  no.

But what got the most attention in his speech (aside from his inappropriate jokes about Chinese drivers) , Biden said that he thought the one-child policy, instituted by the Communist government in the late 1970s to stem rising population was “a dandy.”   Biden said, “we need something like that in America.  I’m going to talk to the President see if we can get that done.  Good way to save our planet.”

The Chinese government compels couples in urban areas to have just one child and limits couples in rural areas to two children if the first child is a girl, as girls are seen as having lesser value than boys.

The Vice President  told the Chinese he wanted  “to build bridges and dig tunnels” with the Chinese.   And he  thought maybe the China could build an extension to their Great Wall that could reach America.  “That would something, huh guys?”  He told his befuddled audience.

Biden,  a Catholic, told U.S. reporters that he supported the Chinese policy of forced sterilizations and abortions because he felt everyone had to “do their part to save the planet.”

After his speech Biden told the Chinese, “let’s get some takeout!  You guys are the best at that.  Kung pow!!”

Biden later walked back his remarks saying that the one-child policy may cause financial problems for China because   the growing number of people retiring who will need government support to make ends meet will be supporter by a smaller population of younger workers able to take care of those obligations.   Biden then said, if that happens, the Chinese might want to consider printing money.  “That always works,” he said.

House Speaker John Boehner issued a statement responding to Biden’s comments:

“I’m deeply troubled by the comments reportedly made by the Vice President yesterday regarding China’s reprehensible one-child policy, which has resulted in forced sterilizations and coerced abortions and should not be condoned by any American official.  I hope and trust that the Vice President didn’t actually say what has been reported, and that a correction or clarification from the White House will be forthcoming.”

Hu Jingtao  told Biden that he Chinese Communist Party boasts that it has “prevented” 400 million births through the One Child Policy.   But Biden wasn’t listening, he was busy looking for the tunnel that leads to America.  “I was told as a kid in Maryland that if I dug deep enough I would get to China.  So, there’s got to be a tunnel around here.”

He was told, emphatically, that the Chinese do not have a tunnel to America.  Biden wasn’t listening however, he was in a karaoke bar singing, “China Girl” and “American Woman” – over and over again.  “Ain’t I good?”

The Chinese also had to step in when Biden was learning archery from a “samurai.”   Biden  tried  to shoot his teacher:

And today, Biden challenge a sumo wrestler to a match: