WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Barack Obama revealed his “top secret” method for reducing the $14 trillion debt – he’s selling the White House!
When Obama unveiled his $3.7 trillion budget package last Tuesday, Congress quickly dismissed it for putting to much financial pressure on the American taxpayer.
But in an exclusive press conference held just moments after the Congressional meeting, President Obama told reporters that he had one more budget cut up his sleeve: selling the White to the highest bidder.
“I couldn’t think of a better way to stimulate the economy than by selling the White House back to the American people,” said Obama during an interview in the Oval Office. “Besides, that house gives me the creeps. I think it might be haunted.”
Obama told reporters that the proposed plan to sell the White House, which real estate specialists estimate value at $350 million dollars, will help meet his goal of cutting the in half by the end of his first term.
“I know it seems like a desperate measure, but I want to do whatever I can to help, even if that means selling the most respected piece of real estate in America to some schlub off the street.”
The president said the decision to sell the White House was one of the hardest he’s ever had to make.
“My only other option was to cut the entire Coast Guard,” he said, “but that just felt wrong for some reason.”
Republicans in Congress lampooned the president’s plan to sell the White House, calling it “the stupidest thing the president has done since taking office.”
“$350 million won’t make a dent in the US budget deficit,” said Rep. Paul Ryan, a Republican from Wisconsin. “If the president really wants to make some headway, he could start by selling all his stupid ideas. I bet he’d make a fortune!”
But some Americans are excited for the opportunity to own and live in a piece of American history.
“I’ll be right there with my checkbook as soon as the White House goes to market,” said John Dupont a warehouse worker from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. “It would sure beat living in my trailer!”