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CONGRESS REPEALS DADT


WASHINGTON – The Senate voted to repeal the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for the military, then applied it to Congress!

Yesterday on Capitol Hill, the Senate voted to repeal the 17-year-old “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy by a slim margin, but with one stipulation: members of Congress must now abide by their own “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy!

Until yesterday, members of Congress were still debating whether or not to repeal the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy, which forbids openly gay citizens from joining the military. But after Congress decided to adopt its own DADT policy, the addendum to enforce the ruling in Congress and the Senate made it an easy decision for a few undecideds to sway the tide.

“At first I was very much opposed to the repeal,” stated Senator John McCain, “but then when we decided to enforce “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in Congress, I was all for it. Most of us are gay anyway so it’s not like we would be admitting to anything that we all already didn’t know.”

“Whoops,” he added. “Did I say that out loud?”

Though Congress’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy passed with an overwhelming majority, a handful of openly gay Congress members have raised their voices in protest.

“If we cannot vocalize on our true nature, then we must show it in other ways” proclaimed Senator Tom Coburn.

Coburn, along with several other gay Congressmen, have come together to form the “My Beard, My Life” initiative.

“Our beards are a symbol of our homosexuality,” said Coburn, while running a hand through his gray, stubbly whiskers. “Just because we can’t say we’re gay doesn’t mean we can’t show it!”

Senator McCain announced earlier this week that he too will grow a beard and join Coburn in the “My Beard, My Life” movement.

“Most gay congressmen already have beards,” said McCain, referring to the term used by closeted gays to describe their wives. “But now that beard is where it belongs: on our faces!”

Even some female Congress members have joined in on the movement.
“I really wish that they could have thought about lesbians with the “My Beard, My Life” campaign,” said Tammy Baldwin, an openly gay U.S. Representative for Wisconsin’s 2nd congressional district. “We might not be able to grow beards, but we can by grow out our leg hair and wear more skirts.”

So there you have it. It’s okay to be gay in the military but not in Congress! Now it’s only a matter of time before we see more members of the Senate and House sporting Chia Legs and the Grizzly Adams look!

PHOTOS by BOY MACK