HARRY REID DECLARED WINNER!

LAS VEGAS – Early voting has assured victory for Harry Reid in next week’s midterm elections.

Election workers in Nevada, primarily members of the Service Employees International Union, have been counting the early votes and have announced that Harry Reid has defeated Sharron Angle to keep his seat in the Senate.  They have certified his victory.  It’s official.

This year has seen a large percentage of voters going to the polls early in Nevada.  In 2008, 571,000 Nevadans voted in the election.  This year, SEIU, reports that 300,000 voters in Nevada have voted early and that 58% of those votes have been for Harry Reid.   This makes it virtually impossible for Sharron Angle to overcome Reid’s lead next week.

There have been numerous voter fraud reports in the last week coming out of Nevada.  In particular, a number of early votes said that when they went into the voting machine Harry Reid’s name was already checked and they couldn’t change it.

“Nonsense,” said Sal Gravado of SEIU.  “We’ve checked and re-checked those machines. They are working fine.”

There were also reports that there were over 50,000 votes from illegal immigrants, many of whom don’t even live in Nevada.  “We can’t disenfranchise illegal immigrants. They have the same rights as all Americans, and we want them to vote,” said a representative for Harry Reid.

Nevada election officials are considering cancelling next week’s election.  “We might not need the “late voters” to vote at all.  Senator Reid is a shoo-in, it’s best if he go back to work and get busy fundamentally changing our country,” said Reid aide William Workman.

President Obama flew to Nevada last night for the a victory party for Harry Reid:

“All the pundits were predicting that Harry was going to lose, but I knew he would win, and I made sure it happened,” said President Obama to a massive crowd of SEIU workers.  “Now, we just gotta get the Republicans to sit quietly in the back of the car, put them in a baby seat and shove  bottles of pablum in their mouths.  I’m going to drive this country and I don’t need any more whining from the babies in the back.”

Republicans were furious that Nevada election officials already certified Reid as the winner.   “If they keep this up, I’m going to throw them out of the car,” said Obama.  “And then when they’re out of the car, I’m going to run them over – several times.  This is MY car.”

Harry Reid was happy to be declared the winner.  “It just goes to show you that we know how to get things done in Nevada.   Las Vegas has a long history of getting things done the right way… and they did it again.

Senator Harry Reid – back for another six years.