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BOLTON TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT


LAS VEGAS –  Michael Bolton announced today that he is running for President of the United States in 2012.

Singer-songwriter, Michael Bolton, told reporters in Las Vegas that he is running for President of the United States in 2012.   “It’s time  we put a singer in the White House.  I want to teach the whole world to sing – in perfect harmony.”

Bolton had been hinting to his audiences  in recent weeks, that he was considering a potential presidential bid in 2012.  The half-filled houses thought his comments were just part of his act, but he was serious.  “I got kicked off Dancing With the Stars in the second week, so I know what it’s like to feel pain, loss, suffering. I can relate to the common person.  I don’t want anybody to get kicked off anything.  And I promise that won’t happen when I’m President.”

The fifty-seven-year-old singer, who was born in Connecticut, has never voted in his life – not in any local, city or national elections.  “I thought it was time I get involved.    I don’t write a song unless I think it’s going to be a number one hit and I’m not going to enter politics unless I think I can be number one:  President.”

Mr. President

At the press conference today,  Bolton cited what he described as President Obama’s failures – “he can’t sing a note.” He said that he has the limited knowledge and limited experience necessary to do limited harm to the country.  “I just want to sing, so I won’t be pushing any agenda.  I just want to keep things as they are and write a few good songs while I’m in the White House.”

Does Bolton really think he can win?  “Absolutely.   If I sing love songs on the campaign trail, I know I’ll get the woman vote – and some women.”

Political expert, Larry Sabato of the University of Virginia, said that Bolton has a good chance to win.  “There’s a paradigm shift in national politics.  All the old rules are out the window.  Nobody can predict who will win anymore.   It’s a crazy to think that Bolton could win, but in today’s political climate, anything is possible.”

Bolton may have a tough time getting the youth vote, especially since Eminem made this comment.  “If Michael Bolton runs for President, I’m gonna to run for Presidential Assassin.  I can’t stand listening to his sh*t.”

There’s a lot of people who agree with Eminem, but never doubt a crooner.

Bolton 2012:   White House Love Song.