JORDAN - Mideast leaders agree – Satan has taken control of Hillary Clinton’s body.
Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, who has been in the mideast trying to broker a deal between the Israelis and the Palestinians, has been acting extremely odd in recent days.
Everywhere she goes, parties on both side of the peace talks have noticed something unusual about her lately – and are frightened. “She appears to be possessed by a demon spirit,” said Palestinian leader, Mahmoud Abbas. “Her eyes become red, her skin goes pale white and, we her head spin around.” Some of her aides said they saw blood shoot out of her eyes.
In Jerusalem last week, it was reported that Clinton suffered a number of seizures and convulsions while at The Wailing Wall. ” Jewish leader, Dov Kozlovich, said ”She was shrieking, yelling about the end of the world and her husband. The dogs and cats in the area ran away – and they are still running.” Secretary Clinton was tackled by Israeli guards and temporarily put in strait jacket.
The demonic possession has also made Secretary Clinton overly consumed with sexual thoughts. We were discussing the West Bank and she pulled off her blouse and told me that she wanted to “ride me like a camel!” Aides say, the Secretary of State was rubbing her breasts and sticking out her tongue, licking it. ”It was horrifying,” said her local translator.
The U.S. Secret Service whisked Secretary Clinton back to her hotel, where two of them say she raped them.
“She’s definitely possessed,” said Secret Service Agent, Chris Blanton. “Her eyes were bulging out of her head and I couldn’t get away from her. It was awful. The sex was incredible, sure, but I was frightened for my life very second.”
In a rare show of religious unity, Jewish and Muslim leaders have called on The Catholic Church to send an exorcist to Jordan to remove the demon spirit from Secretary Clinton’s body.
In an odd way, the demonic possession of Hillary Clinton has brought Palestinians and Israelis together. “We are all afraid of that evil woman. Please send her back to the U.S. now,” said Abbas.
Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said that this proves everything that he has always aid about America. “America is The Great Satan and the members of this administration are Satan’s spawn. I told you so.”
The Exorcism of Hillary Clinton is planned for this Saturday in Rome. It will be a pay-per-view event. Call your cable company now, you don’t want to miss it!