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REID IN LOVE WITH GILLIBRAND



WASHINGTON –  Sen. Harry Reid told reporters he’s in love with NY Senator Senator  Kirsten Gillibrand.

Last week, Majority Leader Sen. Harry Reid called Delaware Senate Democratic Candidate, Chris Coons, his “pet,” yesterday Harry Reid told reporters, “We in the Senate refer to Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (NY), as the hottest member.”  He went on to say that he has been madly in love with her since she was appointed to the Senate in 2009.  “I fell in love with her right away.  My heart aches every time I see her in the Senate hallways.”

The 71-year-old Senator from Nevada, who has been married to his high school sweetheart for 51 years, said “the heart wants what it wants, and mine wants Kirsten.  I’m hoping she will receive my love with and open heart.”

The 43-year-old Gillibrand, who is married with two sons, was unavailable for comment.  Her staffers said she was ill.  “The Senator heard Senator Reid’s comments.  And she has no comment, other than the fact that she hopes to stop vomiting soon.”

Gillibrand was still an upwardly mobile member of the House from New York’s upstate boondocks when her colleagues nicknamed her ‘Tracy Flick’ behind her back. Flick is the now iconic character played by Reese Witherspoon in the 1999 cult movie Election – a strident, peer hated, controlling blonde.

After expressing his love, Reid wouldn’t stop talking about Gillibrand.  He told every Senator, reporter and Capitol worker he could find, “She’s so hot. Isn’t she hot? She’s the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. She’s a hotty totty.”  He has been sending her roses every hour on the hour. “You think she likes roses, I hope she likes roses, maybe I should send her tulips, you think she’ll like tulips?” Reid said.

Reid staffers said that Senator Reid’s book, “Love Poems for Kirsten” will be published on December 9 (Gillibrand’s birthday).

Both Senator Reid and Kirsten Gillibrand are up for re-election this year.  Gillibrand is currently leading, while Reid is trailing Republican challenger Sharron Angle.  “If Nevada voters have a heart, they will not let me part from my Kirstie.”

Reid has been working in a male brothel in Nevada in hopes of connecting more with his constituents. The full WWN story is here. Asked whether he thought Kirsten would be a client, Reid said “I’m praying for that.”

Gillibrand is still vomiting.