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OVAL OFFICE MAKEOVER


WASHINGTON, DC -  President Obama decided the Oval Office needed a major “change.”

The Oval Office Makeover is done.   The new comfy atmosphere is complete with an Oval Office bed, pictures of the President’s favorite musicians and golf clubs.  The President is very pleased with the redesign. Every president makes some small, insignificant changes to the oval office, but President Obama elected to go for a full makeover.  Some changes were made a few short hours before he delivered his speech on the policies that affect the war in Iraq, but that was only the beginning.

After the speech, the makeover crew really went to town.  ABC’s Ty Pennington, the host of Extreme Home Makeover, went into The White House with twenty day-workers he picked up from Home Depot and did a quick one-hour remodel.  “The President wanted a more casual atmosphere to work in.  A queen-sized bed was just the thing he needed. This way he could think about world affairs from behind his desk or on his 1,ooo thread count sheets.  It’s a bed worthy of a king.”

White House staffers quickly dispelled rumors that President Obama wanted to follow in Bill Clinton’s footsteps and do a little “hanky-panky” in the Oval Office.  “President Obama is devoted to Michelle.  He just wants to be able to nap during the long day and he also thought it’d be fun to have staff meetings on the bed.  He feels his advisors will be more open and honest with him if they were all sitting on a bed,” said Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to the President, from the Oval Office bed.

Interior Designer, Daniel Kucan,  explained the new Oval Office artwork.  “President Obama was sick of looking at dead white guys on the walls.  Dionne Warwick is a favorite of the President, so her picture was essential.  And we have the Earth, Wind and Fire logo – which is President Obama’s favorite band.  It really puts him in a good mood.”

Some White House reporters questioned why President Obama put the crescent moon, the Islamic symbol on the wall.  “The President has said repeatedly that America is one of the largest Muslim nations in the world and he feels it is only right to put the crescent moon on the wall.  There is also a cross on the wall,” said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.  Many reporters looked hard, but couldn’t find the cross.  “It’s right there, underneath Dionne’s armpit. Can’t you see it?”  Gibbs said.

Rahm Emanuel explained why the President needed golf clubs in The White House. “The man loves golf.  And if he feels like putting around during the day, he should putt.  It really bothered him that his daughter beat him in miniature golf.  He wants to improve his game.”

Everybody has an opinion about the new Oval Office design.  But it doesn’t matter – what’s done is done.  President Obama plans to enjoy the Oval Office for another six years and he hopes when the next President takes over (in 2017), he (or she) will enjoy the Oval Office bed as well.

Here’s a little Dionne for you.   It’ll get you in that Oval Office mood.