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BOZO THE PRESS SECRETARY


WASHINGTON – Following the advice of Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL), President Obama fired Robert Gibbs and hired… Bozo.

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) was highly critical of White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs on MSNBC yesterday afternoon. In response to Gibbs’s recent comments about “the professional left” and its dissatisfaction with the Obama administration, Grayson called Gibbs “Bozo the Spokesman” and declared he should be fired

Top White House advisors then met and decided that Grayson had made a wonderful suggestion, so they fired Gibbs and hired Bozo.  Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel said that Bozo would make a great Press Secretary.  “He’s got the right demeanor.  He knows how to deal with silly questions from the White House press core and… he can make balloon animals, which really makes the MSNBC reporters happy.”  Fox News correspondent, Major Garrett, tried to ask Bozo some tough questions, but Bozo just squirted him with his flower.

Many in the White House Press Corps did not notice that Gibbs was replaced. “It took a while for us to realize he was gone”, said Dan Lothian, CNN White House correspondent, “Bozo and Gibbs have a lot of the same facial expressions. It’s hard to tell them apart.”

Bozo took a barrage of questions from the anxious WH reporters, but answered them all with a simple, “Laugh, clown, laugh.”  This frustrated the reporters, so Bozo gave them a little more, “They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Galileo, they laughed at Einstein.  So if you laugh at me, I must be a genius.”  He then juggled three basketballs and a ginsu knife,  The reporters loved it, especially after the White House Staff handed out cotton candy.

President Obama defended his decision to go with Bozo.  “Look, times are hard in America. We all need a little smile, a little laugh every day.”  President Obama was wearing Bozo shoes to show his support for his new Press Secretary. “Press conferences are a joke anyway. We just spend our time dodging your questions and going through our talking points.  Better to shake things up and… laugh, clown, laugh!”  The President then led the WH Press Corps in a rousing rendition of “Everybody Loves A Clown.”

Bozo has some friends joining him in the White House Press Office (renamed Bozo’s Circus).  Rusty the Handyman will be dealing with housing questions, Sandy the Tramp will be dealing with ethical issues surrounding members of Congress, Professor Andy will handle the BP oil spill and Wizzo the Wizard will be advising Obama on the economic policy.

Larry Harmon, the most famous Bozo, died in 2008.  The big mystery that reporters are trying to crack is:  “Who is this Bozo?”  There’s speculation that Bozo may be Bill Clinton or Al Gore or Rosie O’Donnell, but those rumors are false.  No one knows for sure, and the White House is keeping tight-lipped about his real identity, but, WWN can confirm that no one has seen Vice President Joe Biden in the last twenty-four hours.

Bozo lives!  Here’s some epic Bozo: