MEXICO CITY – On Monday, lawmakers in Mexico City passed a bill to legalize gay marriage. By Tuesday the city was in flames.
Politicians were excited over the new legislation, which passed to cheers of “Yes we could! Yes we could!” Unfortunately the passage of gay marriage triggered the downfall of society like it always does.
Once gay marriage was approved family units within the affected legal district immediately began to break down. Parents abandoned their children to pursue their own hedonistic pursuits. Children stopped respecting any authority and began loitering rampantly. Grandparents rolled themselves into the streets to inspire panic.
Violence and disco erupted in the streets and by Tuesday Mexico City was a giant flaming mess. Extras from a nearby film set dressed as Aztecs ran rampant and have re-dedicated the temple to Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent god. Riot police were no match and were beaten back to the city limits as the fires and dancing continued well into the night.
This is only the latest of this unfortunate trend. Other cities like Washington D.C. and Thessaloniki, Greece, have attempted to pass same sex marriage bills, all with similar results. Thessaloniki could not pass counter legislation in time and fell into the sea.
Conservative politicians within Mexico City warned of the dangers of passing a bill allowing gay marriage. Their cries went unheeded and the bill passed 32-20. Now with civilization being torn apart they are the only hope. Bills are being drafted and Aztec style blood sacrifices are all being used to try and correct the damage.
Mexico’s capital continues to be enveloped by chaos, emergency legislation is expected to repair most of the damage before New Years