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LOU DOBBS PRESIDENTIAL RUN


NEW YORK, NY – Lou Dobbs has confirmed he will be running for President in 2012, on the Unashamedly Xenophobic ticket.

Dobbs retired recently after spending nearly 30 years as an anchorman for CNN.  He left the program due to controversy around his views on illegal immigration and the Obama Birther conspiracy.  Now with extra time on his hands, Dobbs in considering a run in politics.

Lou Dobbs said he will run on the Unashamedly Xenophobic ticket.  “We’ve got to do something for this country,” said Dobbs in an interview yesterday.  He went on to describe how America is losing touch with its roots:  “America deserves a leader that fight for our identity.  Finally, there will be a party for middle class white people who are threatened by change.”

Political advisors say that Dobbs is capitalizing on a rift in the Republican party.  Around the country moderate Republicans are at odds with staunchly conservative Republicans.  Feeling abandoned by moderate Republicans, the more extreme conservatives have already begun threatening to create a third party.  Some believe Lou Dobbs would hope to rally these disaffected and inherently frightened conservatives and spearhead their third party initiative.

“Some people say that after 9/11 and the wars abroad they are tired of living in fear.  I say America isn’t scared enough!”  Dobbs continued in his interview.  “There are people out there who aren’t like us, and I don’t know about you but that scares me!  Mexico could invade at any minute!  Al-Queda has sleeper cells everywhere!  Somebody needs to stand up for the sake of regression to a simpler time, in the face of a changing world!”

Dobbs released on his website his first commercial for a presidential campaign.  In the video he stands in front of a mirror talking himself up, encouraging himself to stand up to stand up for the middle man, the scared man, and be the voice of “Real America.”  “Somebody has to stand up to the Liberal Agenda, the Gay Agenda, the Illegal Alien Agenda!  Are you threatened by change?  You should be.  I’m Lou Dobbs, and I want to be your President.”

Another media personality Glenn Beck has also considered a third party alternative.  Beck’s fan base is similarly conservative and accustomed to being afraid.  In several of his episodes Beck has also chastised the Republican party for being too moderate, and not speaking to the needs of its more conservative fringe.  Lou Dobbs is expected to meet with Beck to join forces in creating a third major political party.