WASHINGTON, DC – Republican Olympia Snowe has voted in favor of Health Care reform. The GOP is charging she was seduced by Al Franken.
On Tuesday, Olympia Snowe, Republican Senator from Maine, shocked the country by crossing the aisle and voting for health care reform.
“This is an outrage!” cried Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “Absolutely preposterous! No human being in their right mind would vote for this bill! Those smooth-talking snake in the grass Democrats must have drugged or seduced her. That or they’re holding her loved ones hostage. It’s the only explanation!”
Snowe was seen making eyes with Al Franken in Washington recently. All last week the two had pages delivering messages back and forth to each other. Majority Leader Harry Reid had to stop what he was doing to threaten to read their notes aloud to the rest of the Senate before they would stop giggling.
“How?!” continued Mitch McConnell. “This guy’s a nerd! Isn’t he the ‘I’m good enough, and smart enough’ guy? His movie was terrible! Why is she risking her career for him?!?”
When Al was inducted into the Democratic conspiracy, aimed at destroying Christian values and establishing a Socialist state, he received a copy of “How to Pick Up Chicks, the Democrat Way.” This secret tome is believed to have been written by John F. Kennedy himself, with a forward by William J Clinton. The secrets contained within the book are the stuff of legend, and could easily be responsibly for Al Franken’s new status as a “Chick Magnet.”
“I’m not saying anything about Senator Snowe,” said Franken to reporters. “What’s most important is that we can finally move forward with Health Care reform. Olympia and I are just good friends.” Al Franken ended his sentence with a wink that made every woman within a 7 foot radius swoon.