WASHINGTON, DC – The children of America have turned on President Obama. “NoBama” clubs have spread to playgrounds and lunchrooms across the country.
Last week President Obama stated that he supported longer school hours and shorter summer vacations. The nation’s children are in revolt. The President’s approval rating amongst people aged 12 and under dropped 86 points. The only place he showed gains was among nerds, dweebs, and brown-nosers who ask for extra credit.
Anti-Obama clubs are springing up in schools all over America. Children are coming together in exclusive clubs whose only charter is an extreme dislike of the sitting President. Some meet during recess, others meet in club houses. In Kansas these clubs are sanctioned by the school board and are treated as an extracurricular activity. Some of these clubs discuss criticism of the President’s policies, but mostly they find new ways to associate his name with boogers and flatulence.
The Secret Service has asked the President to hold off on any trips to schools until this has died down. The President’s motorcade was egged when it drove past Roosevelt Middle School last Friday. The President is not able to pick up his own daughters from school, but they are currently not speaking to him anyway.
Seeing an opening, the Republican Party is trying to ingratiate themselves to this new demographic. Pamphlets are being distributed around schools titled “The President who Stole Summer.” Inside it tells children that Obama want to keep them in school longer, take away summer vacation, and increase their homework. It goes on to say that Republicans are happy if they just get a GED.
White House Press Secretary has not yet spoken if the President will make any moves to increase his popularity. Whether he will back down from this stance or just do PR damage control is yet unknown.