NEW YORK, NY – Last night in areas of Ohio, Indiana, Colorado, and Florida the President’s speech was interrupted by a newscast claiming aliens were attacking the United States. Fox News was the first to break the story, and the Emergency Broadcast System in several swing states was activated to warn people with the Fox coverage.
News correspondents warned citizens that extra terrestrials were invading the US. Shepard Smith began by saying “As much as we hate to interrupt the President’s speech tonight, we bring you this breaking news…” At first pictures taken from craft magazines and fantasy novels were shown as stills captures by amateur photographers. According to reporters aliens were landing down across the country in a hostile takeover of the United States. Footage from B science fiction films from the 50s was shown, claiming to be taking place live outside of Tallahassee, Florida.
A poorly done voice over claimed to be from the invading aliens saying “Foolish Earthlings! We invade you now, because your pitiful President is too weak to stop us!”
President Obama’s speech, aimed at removing misconceptions regarding healthcare, has been lauded as a success. Unfortunately thousands of viewers in key swing states did not get to see it. People in these regions were either frantically stocking up on guns and emergency supplies or inventing drinking games for the coverage. Sometimes both.
Dozens of people in Alachua county, Florida, raided the local Wal-Mart before turning the Masonic Lodge into a fortified bunker, awaiting the invasion. Police officials have tried to talk them out of their position, only to be met with cries of “Nice try ya mutated scum!”
The Emergency Broadcast System was eventually turned off and regular programming resumed. Fox News is still reporting on last night’s brief invasion, and has yet to mention the Health Care speech.