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GLENN BECK SUSPENDED


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NEW CANAAN, CT – Glenn Beck rumored to be facing suspension.  If so, Beck says he will spend time working on a comedy musical spectacular.

Glenn Beck is a conservative news commentator for Fox News who is currently under fire for saying that President Obama is racist against white people, despite the fact the President is half white.  Since his statement, nearly all of Beck’s advertisers have pulled their spots from his show.  Seeing a sudden lack on income, Fox News is considering suspending Beck until this situation has died down.

In the mean time, if his suspension goes through, Beck is expected to work on his next live show: Glennspell.  Every year Beck does two live tours in which he provides what he calls a mix of “Stand up comedy, and political commentary.”  Glennspell will be his first full length musical.  Taking place in an eclectic mix of times, the general populace have fallen under the idolatrous spell of a socialist dictator named Barry.  One day a curious outsider named Glenn arrives and shows the people the truth, exposing Barry’s lies and leading them to the dancing magical land of Utah.

“It should be a great show,” says Beck.  “It will blend great music and stirring drama, with a political message some people might pick up on.”

Towards the end of the show Glenn is crucified on a cross that says “Liberal Agenda.”  Glenn will be suffering on the cross, wearing a loin cloth over his special Mormon one-piece undergarments.  Barry’s henchmen (named FCC, ACLU, and Mainstream Media) then come in as a death panel to finish him off.  After dying on a cross Glenn is brought back by Jesus to defeat the “socialist nightmare” in a Christ-fueled dance solo performed by Beck.  Barry and his minions scurry back to Europe while Glenn leads the people in a final patriotic dance number.  “Flags will come down, people will dance with apple pies, then Jesus comes on dressed as Uncle Sam and welcomes us all to Utah.  That’s when you know, everything’s gonna be all right.”

Glenn Beck’s Glennspell is expected to tour in time for the holiday season.