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LINDSEY GRAHAM SUPPORTS SOTOMAYOR


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WASHINGTON, DC – Senator Lindsey Graham has voted in favor of Judge Sonia Sotomayor.  Republicans fear he has been replaced by a pod person.

On Tuesday Lindsey Graham joined other Senators in confirming Judge Sonia Sotomayor towards becoming a Supreme Court Justice.  Sotomayor passed confirmation of the House Judiciary Committee at a 13 – 6 vote, with divisions strictly reflecting party lines; except for Lindsey Graham.  For no foreseeable reason, Graham did a complete turnaround regarding the ruling.

For the past several weeks Lindsey Graham has been vehemently opposed to the appointment of Sonia Sotomayor.  In his online blog, LindseyisaMansName.org, Graham has repeatedly claimed her judgment is clouded by racism and liberal bias.  Last week he was held by police, but never charged, for some graffiti sprayed in the GOP Senator’s locker room crudely made to look like it was left by Sotomayor.  He was quoted in The New Republic as saying, “Sonia Sotomayor is a threat to the safety and sanctity of all we hold dear in this country.  And also I’ve heard she steals Girl Scout Cookies.”

Yesterday, after crossing the aisle and voting with Democrats in favor of her confirmation, Graham said, “I gladly give her my vote, because I think she meets the qualifications test.”  This plus other sudden changes in behavior have lead Republicans to believe he has been replaced by a pod person.  A lifelong barbeque lover Graham has now taken to eating plain uncooked tofu everyday for lunch.  Also he refuses to sleep, see his family, or show emotion, but spends all his free time “gardening.”

While it is too late to use Graham to block Sotomayor’s ascension to the Supreme Court, GOP insiders are anxious to get back their version of Lindsey Graham.  “We’re already at a loss in this Senate, we can’t afford to lose one more,” said one anonymous insider.  If need be, associates at the NRA would be asked to help weed out and deal with any pod person plots within their ranks.

If this is true Lindsey Graham would be the third pod person to serve in the US Senate.