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I’m madder than a Kossack who’s run out of vodka!

I thought we lived in the United States of America, but Obama is trying to turn us into Russia!

And not even Communist Russia – you know, the guys we beat in the Cold War, who turned out to be a bunch of old drunks with rusty rockets, doing ESP experiments on dogs or something. Too bad their scientists never figured out how to keep their women from turning from beautiful to ugly when they turn 25!

I’m talking about the Russia BEFORE the commies took over, where the Czars lived in giant funny colored castles while everybody else ate dirt soup!

So far, the Teleprompter Kid has hired all kinds of idiots to help him run the country, but he tries to fool us into thinking they’re smart by calling them “Czars”.

He hired one guy who looked about 12 years old to be the “Car Czar”.

You’d think Obama would hire one of the hundreds of out of work GM dealers for the job, but no: he picked this idiot whose only experience with cars was playing with his Hot Wheels!

But the worst one so far is the “Science Czar” – some longhaired, tweed-wearing egghead named John Holdren.

This guy is a real piece of work. He’s been predicting the end of the world since 1969, for one thing! Ooops!

Holdren also says there are too many people on earth and he wants to sterilize people whether they like it or not. I can’t find on the computer machine whether he has kids, but one thing’s pretty certain:

Holdren hasn’t killed himself yet to make more room on the planet!