I’m madder than a tomcat in a puppy mill! I hear the Communist-in-Chief got a new dog – and it’s already signed a deal to write a book! Good to know somebody’s doing o.k. in this economy, and has a roof over his head. That dog’s better off than millions of Americans!

I guess the book will be like his owner’s books: how hard it is to be half black and half white and be from some weird country like Portugal, wherever that is.

I never heard of a “Portuguese Water Dog” before, but he got it from Ted Kennedy, who owns a couple of them. Leave it to Teddy to buy a dog that knows how to swim and drag dead things out of the water! I bet he named them “Gulp” and “Gurgle”!

Obama’s dog looks like a poodle that wasn’t left in long enough. Presidents should have tough dogs, not fruitcakes with flowers around their necks and powder puff tails. You just wait: soon we’ll be hearing about gay dogs’ rights and “Don’t Howl, Don’t Bark.”

Speaking of fruits, I read on the computer machine that those gays want “reparations” now. Seems they’re mad cuz they’ve been forced to hang our drapes and do our wives’ hair and star in Broadway plays all these years. You’d think giving them fancy San Francisco to live in would make us even!

But those gays won’t be happy until they turn the White House into the Pink House – and it’s all starting with that fruity dog! I hope I never live to see what they’ll do to the Washington Monument!