Man, this week just keeps getting better and better. By which I mean worse and worse!
Man-dates, Droopy Dog and now Halloween. Don’t even get me started on Halloween! I hate Halloween!
Why do I hate Halloween? I’ll tell you!
Oh great, you got me started!
All those trolls with their disgusting make-up caked all over their ugly faces ringing my door bell all night? No thank you! And that’s just the mothers! Who aren’t even wearing costumes!
Why should I be expected to give candy or my hard earned pennies to the fat demon offspring of people in the neighborhood who I make a very concerted effort to ignore the other 364 days of the year?
These kids are fat enough, riled up enough, ugly enough without Halloween encouraging them along.
Is there anything more irresponsible than Halloween? Maybe the Communist-in-Chief wants to give the little fatties a candy bailout instead. Why should they have to walk around the neighborhood to beg for candy? We can have socialized Halloween with the government delivering bails of candy right to our doors!
I don’t even want to know what he’s going to dress up as on Halloween.
Probably Karl Marx or Chairman Mao! Oh wait, he acts like them every day!
You know what I think? I’ll tell you!
I bet Halloween was created by the government in the first place to fatten us up, slow us down, and make us sicker! And you know why?
I’ll tell you!
So they can overcharge us for government run health care that’s why! Well I’m on to ‘em. And now you are too!
And by the end of tomorrow everyone who comes to my door will be too! I’m going to hand out my pamphlet, “Ed Anger Says: I’ll Tell You! Ed Anger’s Guide to The Government is Trying to Make You Fat and Unhealthy To Sell You Over-Priced Health Care!”
So long as none of these little monsters comes to my door dressed as Droopy Dog, then all they’re getting is the hose!