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I’m happier than a Labrador Retriever at a wading pool!

After all these years, Ted Kennedy is finally dead! Yahoo!! It took him long enough – even in a nation full of gun-toting crazies, nobody thought Ted mattered enough to shoot.

What a shame, because before he finally died, Ted Kennedy managed to screw up everything he touched. It was bad enough he only got into Harvard because his smarter brothers went there, and their bootlegger father was rich. And everybody knows Ted Kennedy let a young lady die after he crashed a car off a bridge and left her to drown.

He also stuck up for the Commies and smeared guys who were a hundred times smarter and better than him, like that Bork and Clarence Thomas.

Imagine a guy who had to cheat his way through law school getting to decide who sits on the Supreme Court, and even calling one of them a pervert and another one a racist!?

But that’s not the worst of it. Nope, it is all the idiots who kept electing Ted Kennedy time and time again.

I love America, but it’s Americans I can’t stand. And that’s one reason why. How stupid do you have to be to keep voting for this fat, drunk, overrated commie blowhard just because of his famous last name?

I hear though that the news ratings are in the tank with all this Kennedy news, and the only person whose show is getting more watchers is… Glenn Beck! Ha Ha!

It’s enough to make me wish a bunch of stupid hippies would boycott ME!!