I’m madder than a sick old coot with a rusty bedpan! You can make fun all you want, but those “Death Panels” are no joke!

First off, Sarah Palin would never lie to you and me. She’s so honest and up front, she doesn’t even hunt with blinds – nope, she swoops right in on a big noisy helicopter so the caribou know she’s coming!

Why are Death Panels so hard to believe? We love our pets, but we still put ‘em down when they get too old and sick and stop being cute.

Now think about it: Half the wives in America want their husbands dead, and vice versa! And who wouldn’t kill their bratty kids, if they knew they could get away with it? Heck, I love my bloodhound more than my damn nephew with his pimples and Pac-Man!

So if the government makes killing legal, and it saves everybody money – you bet there’ll be Death Panels. They’ll give ‘em a nice name like the Community Inhalation Advisory Board, but it’ll be the same thing.

And the first name on the death list will be your old friend Ed Anger!

As a veteran of Pork Chop Hill, I can tell you: they already hand out brochures to old soldiers like me, hinting that we should hurry up and die and get it over with.

And I’m an enemy of the state, to boot! There’s no room in the Teleprompter Kid’s America for a God-fearing patriot like me! When they kill off all the old guys who love the U. S. of A., the only people left with be the Communist-in-Chief and his terrorist friends.

Fight back with everything you’ve got, my fellow fogies! You’ve got nothing to lose but your bingo daubers!