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I’m madder than a mailman who’s run out of bullets!

For months now, you’ve been laughing at old Ed when he told you government health care would be like the DMV.

Well, hard as it is to admit it, I was wrong. Obama set me straight yesterday in his town hall. He got asked if government medicine would wreck all the private companies out there.

The Communist-in-Chief said:

“UPS and FedEx are doing just fine. It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems.”

So there you have it, straight from the mouth of the Teleprompter Kid (whose machine must have been unplugged right then):

Government health care won’t be like the DMV. It’ll be like the POST OFFICE!

So: when we need ‘em the most, doctors and nurses will be on their lunch hour. Or they’ll all get replaced by losers and crazies and clock-watchers who couldn’t get jobs anywhere else.

Now we know our brand new liver will end up getting broken on the way to the O.R., or get stolen by some guy in the back room.

Doctors will refuse to operate on us because our dog’s too big or our walkway’s too snowy or we’re just too old and too much trouble.

You just wait: under this Obamacare, we’re gonna have to stick special government stamps all over our butts if we want to get our hemorrhoids looked at! Just wait til you need a vasectomy!!

And then, when the heart surgeon’s had a really bad day, he’ll pick up an AK-47 and shoot up the emergency ward!

Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. President! I feel better already. And I hope I stay that way!!