HOROSCOPES – APRIL 2012 – LOVE, WEALTH, HEALTH

Here’s your monthly forecast for April 2012.  
ARIES
Mar. 21- April 19
What is the matter, cat got your tongue?  Tell that special person exactly what you are feeling – before it’s too late!  You may be considering cheating on your taxes. Don’t – you’re going to be audited. That funny itch may be more serious than it seems.
If it doesn’t go away on its own, see a urologist. Your lucky lottery numbers are 2-8-12-22-31-39.
TAURUS
April 20 – May 20
Brace yourself. That sexual “dry spell” you’ve been going through is about to end – big time!
You’ll probably cross path with a young tech geek.  As if you can invest in his upcoming IPO – he could be another Mark Zuckerberg.
Your health is on an upswing, you may feel years younger.  To avoid bad luck , stay away from both black and white cats.
GEMINI
May 21- June 20
 
Expect to have a major blow up with a family member over money.  Someone you’d never had imagined in 1,000 years haa a secret crush on you.
Watch TV closely this month for news about a new health product.  It can add about six years to your life.
To boost your luck this month, build a treehouse – but don’t let any kids near it.
 
CANCER June 21- July 22
 
 
Don’t kid yourself – “soul-kissing” IS a form of cheating.  Money doesn’t grow on trees, but an investment having to do with trees will make you a small fortune.
Eating an apple a day will actually do wonder s for your body.
You can improve your luck by relying on gut instinct instead of logic when you suddenly have to make a big decision.
 
LEO July 23 – Aug 22
 
 
Set aside a little extra money.  YOu’re going to need it for legal expenses and possibly bail money. To avoid bad luck this month, stay away from anyone with a tattoo. A Brief spell in the hospital is a strong possibility.
 
VIRGO – Aug. 23 – Sept 22
 
A sensual massage could be just what your relationship needs to fire things up. Check the pockets of pants around the house – some missing cash is there.
Reducing your intake of red meat may head off a problem with clogged arteries later in the year.
You can improve your luck y by not inviting anyone who carries a gun to a sleep over.
 
LIBRA Sept. 21 – Oct 22
 
 
Great news! This will by your luckiest month in years.  If Libras depend on chance instead of common sense this month, they’ll rarely go wrong.  A piece of art you have in your home could turn out to be worth a small fortune.
No health woes.  But watch out:  A lover’s spat could get out of hand this month – don’t say anything you can’t take back.
 

SCORPIO  Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
 
Be wary of a female interloper who seeks to “befriend” the two of you – she’s a barracuda. An old family friend will give you some odd sounding advice.  Take it and you’ll make out like a bandit.
The only health problem you’re likely to encounter this month is likely  to be on the left side of your body. Expect good to very good luck.
 
SAGITTARIUS  Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
A well-known athlete will propose an impromptu “huddle” with you.  Just make sure no other team members are invited.
A gas station attendant may accidentally give you back about $50 in extra change.
A bird suddenly flying over head will be a sign that a lucky break is coming your way – unless it’s an owl.
Your physical health will improve.
 
CAPRICORN
Dec. 22 – 00 Jan 10
 
Your sweetheart has been fantasizing about a person who lives nearby. But don’t worry your “rival” is gay.  Someone you encounter in the meat section of the supermarket will give you some sound financial advice.
By pure chance, you’ll find an object on the street. Keep it – it will turn out to be a powerful good luck charm.  No health problems on the horizon.
 
AQUARIUS
Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
Look for an exotic, imported liqueur at your neighborhood package store.
It can cure that nagging health woe.  A simple bar bet involving the sizes of Canada and the United States could net you an extra $100 this month.  This would be a great month for a romantic getaway in the country. To avoid bad luck, stay away from bulls.
PISCES
Feb. 19 – Mar 20
It’s time to stop being so picky when it comes to romance – beggars can’t be choosers.
Selling some valuable information about a pal to the tabloids could help yo make ends meet. Drink more orange juice – your body craves the Vitamin C.  Don’t expect anything to come your way by pure luck this month.  You’ll have to work overtime for everything.