I’m madder than a penguin on Miami Beach over all the mealy-mouthed politicians whining about the economy and not doing anything about it.
Let’s face it, folks. We are in the Second Great Depression. And guess who got us hardworking, penny-saving, honest Joes into this mess? The same cigar-chomping fat cats in Washington who are running around like chicken with their heads cut off blaming everyone but themselves.
They’re all back-stabbing morons.
Who let Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac collapse the housing market? Who let bloodsuckers on Wall Street steal us blind without even one of them going to jail? And why are we still in such horrible shape after four years of this? I’ll tell you why. It’s because we have a bunch of no-good, greedy politicians who keep flying private jets, voting themselves big raises every other month so they can live high on the hog in Washington while the rest of the country suffers – that’s who!
If anybody can squeeze blood out of a turnip, it’s our boozing, big-spending congressmen and senators who eat caviar while us little guys struggle to feed our families and pay for gas in our cars. And our President? Don’t me started on that Marxist America-hater!
Yours truly is mad as and hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. My great-uncle J.B. Potter, who struggled through the first Great Depression in the 1930s, has a great idea to help America get back on its feet again. Here it is: Publicly horsewhip every politician in Washington, shoot every lawyer in the country and make it a capital crime to buy ANYTHING that isn’t made in America.
In other words, traitors who buy anything from China should fry in the chair, by Jiminy! Hey, I know these are pretty tough measure, but if we’re going to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, we’re going to have to kick some butt.
And I figure China’s a good place to start. I never bought anything those noodle-eaters have shipped over here to America, anyway. But a lot of good-hearted, patriotic Americans have been hoodwinked for years into paying good money for the junk these rice ball racketeers peddle. Well, it’s high time Americans stop making those Mao lovers rich and only buy stuff made in the good old U.S. of A!
And if I were President Obama, I’d go one step further. I’d make the Chinese buy only American too, for five years, just to make up for robbing us blind – or we’ll bomb ‘em back to the Stone Age where they came from.
Now get out there and… Buy American!