PHILADELPHIA, PA – As Madam Kristen Davis debates whether to publish her tell-all biography, she has turned to a longtime friend and alleged client for counsel: PhD Ape!
Madam Davis, supplier of prostitutes to A-List clientele who first came to notoriety in the wake of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal, has made quite a name for herself over the past few weeks as her relationship with baseball slugger Alex Rodriguez has come to light.
What began as a romantic relationship initiated by A-Rod after spotting the busty Davis at a local gym, became a client-madam business arrangement by which Rodriguez was supplied high price call girls in the service of the exclusive Madam Davis.
Although married, Rodriguez allegedly became smitten with Davis, sending her flowers and lavish gifts, often claiming to enjoy her escorts but never as much as he enjoyed the company of Davis herself.
As public attention focused on her illicit business, Davis has been forced to abandon her seedy, yet lucrative Madam lifestyle. And without the hundreds of thousands of dollars earned every year, Davis has had to consider other avenues for financial support.
Unsure about the potential fallout from the details divulged in her racy tell all book, Davis has sought out the advice of longtime confidant, PhD Ape.
“Kristen is a classy woman, a successful businesswoman and a dear friend,” PhD Ape told reporters after arriving in Philadelphia this past weekend. “We have been friends for years and I have often provided counsel to her during troubled times. Often a partner in troublesome relationships, whether they be personal relations with married men or business partnerships with loose women, Kristen seems to be a magnet for people who need and want something from her.”
“I told her that tell-alls can be tricky business, often prompting retaliatory allegations to emerge. But I understand her financial quandry. We will spend the next several days weighing her options and coming to the most fruitful conclusion.”
While PhD Ape’s long list of celebrity clients has associated him with his fair share of scandalous people, PhD has kept a respectable PG image for himself over the years. However, recent information leaked to the press regarding Madam Kristen Davis’ client roster has led to some rethinking the nature of her “professional” relationship with the celebrity shrink.
“Our relationship is completely on the up and up, and I do not appreciate any implication that it is not of the utmost professional level. I take my oath very seriously. Kristen and I have maintained a two way friendship and a one way professional relationship. While friends, Kristen indulges in my professional counsel, but I have never indulged in her… ‘services.’”