JAPANESE CITIZENS BECOME ANIMATED

TOKYO – A number of Japanese citizens have become afflicted with what can only be described as a reanimation.

Residents from across the country, mostly in major cities, have begun to appear partially drawn in the animé tradition.

Some have noticed only a faint glow at their extremities, while others have awoken to find half their bodies illustrated.  At the current rate of incidence, live action Japanese life is at risk for survival.

“It’s like I’m half-me, half-Sailor Moon,” said teenager Kyoko Uki, one of the victim’s of the blight.  “I’m not sure how to feel.  I like Sailor Moon, but one of my eyes is huge.”

Others have reported bulging muscles far outside normal human proportions; fierce, resolute expressions that cannot be made to show happiness; and sudden, fist-first flights through space.

“The background’s all bright and filled with parallel lines, like I’m going really fast,” said another victim.  “What’s with that?”

Although little is known about the causes of the affliction, some theorists have suggested that it is the result of heavy media immersion.

“In a way, it was inevitable,” commented social critic Naoya Lei.  “What with the skyscrapers and the neon lights and the gadgets, this place can seem pretty artificial.  Now it just is.”