DETROIT, MI – After announcing new “self-parking” cars, reports have emerged about the source of the revolutionary technology – goblins!
Unnamed sources from within the Ford Motor Corporation have leaked internal memos revealing details of the “self-parking” technology that will be featured in all top-of-the-line models of Ford automobiles starting in 2009.
The memos state that each car will employ two or four goblin technicians, depending on the size of the engine. The goblins actually work under the hood of the car and take control of the car once the driver puts it into “park mode.”
Executives and spokesmen for the Ford Motor Corp. have refused to comment or return calls for a statement.
Members of the United States Congress however, have been making quite a fuss over the story and many are not amused by the concept of goblins working on the hoods of American cars.
“We spent many long days working on a bailout for the auto industry,” Republican Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas said. “I don’t like the idea of American tax dollars going to Goblins! That was not part of the agreement.”
“If they need small people in the engines to self-park the car, then find a small American! We’ll breed Americans smaller and smarter and bring automotive jobs back to Americans!”
