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MERPEOPLE TO BUY CONEY ISLAND


NEW YORK, NY – New York state, desperate for money, has agreed to sell Coney Island to the Merpeople.

After realizing that recent tax increases would not be able to bring in enough income, Governor Paterson sent word to the Merpeople to help raise extra funds for the state.

The Merpeople have been looking into buying property for the past several months after signing a major deal with BP for oil rights.  With their new found wealth, they are looking into acquiring a vacation resort which they can sink below water and use.  Talks with Hawaii, Ibiza, and the Jersey Shore have all fallen through.

Governor Paterson offered the underwater race the option of purchasing Coney Island, a popular vacation destination whose future has been uncertain for some time now.

Coney Island, a famous haven for sideshow culture, is surprisingly resistant to being annexed by a race of Merpeople.  A petition against the sale was signed by 99 of the local sideshow performers and nailed into the nose of Jim-Jim the Undying.  One man said, through a mouthful of broken glass, “Our issue isn’t with mer-culture.  We just don’t want to lose our homes when they bring the island underwater.”

Earlier this week a meeting was held where representatives from City Hall and the Kingdom of Merpeople came together to finalize the deal.  A human-oddity chain was formed around the proceedings and the protesters sang “Give Freaks a Chance.”

Governor Patterson tried to throw in Staten Island to sweeten the deal; however, no one wants Staten Island.