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9-FT-TALL CYCLOPS JOINS NBA


WASHINGTON, D.C. – Towering, 9-foot basketball player Koyati has no trouble keeping one eye on the ball – the Maasai hoop star is a real-life Cyclops! This gentle giant is starting his basketball career today, at the open of the 2009-2009 NBA season.

“My dream was to be a great hunter,” Koyati explains through an interpreter. “But I was too big, too loud. So I went with my second choice,” he laughed.

Koyati, who stands head and shoulders over the tallest U.S. player, is part of Kenya’s Maasai tribe, who are renowned for their height. However, his cyclopean nature can be a disadvantage.

“Since Koyati has only the one eye in the middle of his forehead, his depth perception is not so good,” admits his sports agent Bruce Simmons. “But once he’s in position under the basket, all his teammates have to do is get the ball to him and he can score at will. He can dunk while standing flat-footed on the floor!”

Koyati will be playing for the Washington Wizards, which, given his own supernatural attributes, has been a perfect fit. Anticipation of his first game is so intense that Wizards fans have already started lining up outside the Verizon Center stadium, wearing patches over one eye in his honor.

See if Koyati helps the Wizards trounce the New Jersey Nets tonight at 7:00pm EST!