ANCHORAGE, AL – Bat Boy has decided on his 2020 running mate. After careful consideration, he has chosen Bigfoot to join him in his independent run for The White House! Bat Boy/Bigfoot 2020!
After weeks of discussions with some of today’s biggest political consultants -David Axelrod, Karl Rove, Steve Bannon, Van Jones and Bill Clinton – Bat Boy made his decision. He spent several days in a nearby cave thinking through his options. Some advisors wanted him to select Mark Cuban or Hillary Clinton, but Bat Boy makes up his own mind.
Sarah Palin kept hounding Bat Boy to select her as his running mate, but he turned her down. Bat Boy knew that she just wanted to be near Bigfoot again. Taylor Swift is also upset by the choice. She fell in love with Bat Boy over the summer and wanted to be his running mate, but Bat Boy didn’t think she’d be up to the task. It’s not clear whether Taylor will still support Bat Boy. She’s crushed right now, writing a song about it.
Bat Boy is thrilled with is choice and feels that Bigfoot will make an outstanding Vice President of the United States. Bigfoot is a man of very few words, but that’s exactly what Bat Boy is looking for in a Vice President. Bigfoot will focus mainly on environmental issues, animal rights and nuclear power.
At last night’s Democratic Presidential debate, the candidates all showed support for Bat Boy’s independent Presidential run. In fact, they all raised their hands when asked if they could see themselves voting for him.
THE 2020 RACE
Now that Elizabeth Warren is the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, it is clear what the 2020 race will be. Donald Trump will face off against Elizabeth Warren and Bat Boy.
In a three-way race, overnight polling shows Elizabeth Warren with 34% of the vote, Donald Trump with 31% of the vote and Bat Boy with 35%. Bat Boy has a real shot at being the 46th President of the United States.
Bigfoot plans to campaign hard for Bat Boy. His first stops will be Yosemite and then he will head for the Appalachian mountains. Bigfoot plans to spend the winter in Maine, Vermont, and Montana, and then he’ll campaign in Colorado, Wyoming and Idaho in the Spring.
Many feel that Bigfoot will do extremely well against Vice President Mike Pence in a debate. Again, he may not say much, but that should be enough for him to beat the Vice President.
Bat Boy is asking all Americans to support the Bat Boy-Bigfoot ticket in 2020. You will soon be able to donate to their campaign.
MABA! Make America Bats Again!
I think the wisdom and distinction Bigfoot brings the campaign compliments the youth and vigor of Batboy in a way that ballances the ticket nicely.