CHARLESTON, WV – Bat Boy trapped Santa Claus! Mutant child not sure what he’s supposed to do with him now.
Last night while making his yearly trip Santa Claus was successfully captured by America’s Favorite Mutant, Bat Boy! Santa trackers were bewildered when he appearing in radars and being seen by people in airplanes. Santa is at the time of publishing still detained in a cave in West Virginia.
Bat Boy is believed to have used his night vision and natural sonar to get the best of Santa. Sources believe it most likely that Bat Boy was hiding among stalactites on the roof of his cave wearing his Christmas sweater, and dropped a fishing net on Santa when he arrived. Santa probably passed out from the image of an excited Bat Boy rushing towards him, as Bat Boy has that affect on people.
The international community is stunned that Santa Claus has been successfully captured. Most political figures are breathing a sigh of relief that Santa was caught before he could try and enter Iran. Earlier this week President Ahmedinejad spoke out against Santa, vowing that any intrusion of Iran’s borders by him would be seen as an act of war by all Western countries. This violates international conventions as Santa Claus has been seen as an a-political fixture since 1685. Thankfully with Santa detained an international incident has been avoided.
Bat Boy is expected to release Santa Clause later this morning. Sources close to Bat Boy believe he most likely caught Santa for harmless reasons. Once they have shared a few cookies and talked about Bat Boy’s wish list Santa will resume his yearly rounds.