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OLDEST KNOWN BIBLE GOES ONLINE


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LONDON – The oldest known copy of the Bible has been published online.  Religious scholars haved noted some differences from the modern version.

Museum officials from London, Germany, Russia, and Egypt have finally brought together pieces from the world’s oldest Bible, the Codex Sinaiticus.  During the 4th century, the codex was split into several pieces which were spread to the farthest corners of the known world.  Four of those pieces have been digitized and brought together online for the first time in centuries.  The fifth and final piece, containing much of the Old Testament, is still lost to history.  Legend says that if the Codex is completed it will release a power capable of destroying the Earth.  Researchers dismiss this as pure superstition

The Codex Sinaiticus, being the oldest known Bible, contains many typos, revisions, corrections and additions which chronicle the history of the development of Christianity.  Much of what is in the Codex has been left out of modern Bibles, such as:

Moses repeatedly asking God for directions during the Exodus.  Moses’ questioning of God culminates in a long discussion the two have on the shores of the Red Sea.  The conversation revolves mostly around Moses complaining about sore feet and asking about the practicalities of parting an ocean.  This only slows down the story of the Exodus and offers little enlightenment, so it is understandable why it was cut.

Jesus and the Disciples gambling in Myceanea.  Included in the Gospel of Mark is the story of Jesus and the Disciples on a weekend gambling trip to Myceanea.  Not long before Jesus knew he would be crucified, he took the 12 men who had been following him for years for a weekend getaway.  According to the story, there was some confusion over room service charges, and James the Lesser had to be brought back to life after beating a local thug in a game of dice.  In the end they donated all their winnings to the needy and Christ magically removed their hangovers.

Adam and Eve trying to break back in to the Garden of Eden
.  The Codex tells of Adam and Eve, aging and fearing their impending mortality, attempting to break in to the Garden of Eden to get to the Tree of Life.  God and His Angels stood back silently and watched as the elderly man and woman struggled to get over a 12 foot wall, with no success.

Graphic descriptions of sea sickness on Noah’s Ark
.  Apparently Noah, his family, and two of every species that walks the earth got sea sick for 40 days and 40 nights aboard the ark.  Included in the Codex are strongly graphic and incredibly detailed descriptions which had been passed down from generation to generation.  This would also explain how so many animals were able to live together without killing each other for 40 days.

The reunited Codex can be found online for now, while the 4 remaining pieces are safely kept at opposite corners of the world.