PRINCETON, NJ – An internal memo from the National Organization for Marriage was discovered yesterday, revealing ideas for their next ad campaign.
The National Organization for Marriage describes themselves as “a nonprofit organization with a mission to protect marriage and the faith communities that sustain it.” Heavily active during the Proposition 8 fight in California, the group have emerged in the public eye again due to an over-the-top ad campaign that was recently released.
See the ad below:
The Human Rights Campaign responded with digging up and releasing the awkward audition tapes of the commercial’s actors. But just yesterday, Weekly World News received a scan of an internal memo listing out ideas for their next ad campaign.
The focus will be on the signs of the future Death of Society, presumably what will happen if same-sex marriage is allowed.
The list included:
- High school proms have mandatory drag dress code
- National anthem changed to “It’s Raining Men”
- Bridal shop owners must carry women’s pant suits
- Christian doctors forced to treat drag queens for waxing injuries
- The American flag is updated to include all rainbow colors
- All college freshman girls required to “experiment” for a minimum of two months
- Only same-sex couples will receive insurance benefits
- Terms like “husband” and “wife” will be banned as sexist, and usage will result in stiff fines
- Same-sex couples will be given preferential treatment by adoption agencies
- Dollar bills will be redesigned to include new portraits; $20 bill will feature Eleanor Roosevelt
A spokesperson from NOM refused to confirm or deny the authenticity of the memo, only stating, “They are certainly realistic possibilities, and we hope all Americans seriously consider that.”