NEW YORK, NY – The UN Security Council held an emergency meeting after North Korea fired a large rocket.Inside sources confirm the launch was part of a rock concert performed by returning leader Kim Jong Il.
State Departments around the world are furious at what appears to be an overt act of aggression on North Korea’s part. Intelligence analysts say the multi-stage rocket could be used to deliver ballistic missiles to neighboring countries. The North Korean Ministry of Truth maintains the rocket was an attempt to put a satellite in orbit.
Hidden sources deep within North Korea confirm the leader of the communist party performed in a rock concert this weekend to celebrate his return from America. For months Kim Jong Il has been sighted throughout rural America, taking in the sights and performing at open mic nights. On Sunday after two mediocre opening acts and several delays Kim Jong Il took to the stage in the Glam Rock persona “Buzzy Starcluster.”
This concert marks a change from the mostly country and blues he experimented with throughout the American heartland, and the first time a head of state has performed as an androgynous intergalactic rock star.
Kim Jong Il did an interview earlier this week for North Korea’s only music magazine People’s Republic of Funk, for which he is also the editor. According to the interview Buzzy Starcluster is quote “a benevolent intergalactic leader” who “comes to the most beautiful and gracious people of each planet with a message of peace and love.” His new album “Unending rise of the Eternal Sovereign from Beyond the Stars and the Unfortunate Vermin from Mars” will be state issued to all citizens within the month.
Songs from Sunday’s performance included Mount Paektu Daydream, It Ain’t Easy being Glorious Leader, Seoul Love, 21st Century Boy, and a soulful cover of Amy Winehouse’s Rehab sung a cappella by the communist dictator.
The show culminated with the launch of several rockets, including the multi-stage rocket which has caused an international stir. At the musical climax of the show all the rockets launched from bunkers behind stadium, framing Kim Jong Il perfectly in their vapor trails.
A video of the concert will be broadcast on state television around the clock for the next week.
Unconfirmed reports say that the rocket has been recovered from the ocean, and its payload contained enough glitter and pictures of Kim Jong Il to blanket a countryside. The pictures were postcard sized of Kim in his Glam Rock costume with the caption “I Love You.”