CHILD MODEL TO BE PAID IN MONOPOLY MONEY

LOS ANGELES—Citing concerns over the recession and the desire to purchase Park Place, a child model asked that she be paid in Monopoly dollars.
The announcement has fueled speculation that US currency may be losing its clout on the world stage.

Dawn Bishop’s preference for funds derived from the Parker Brothers’ famous board game has also prompted investors to consolidate holdings on St. James Place, igniting a storm of controversy among consumer advocacy groups in the orange squares.

“New York Avenue has been rent-controlled for thirty years,” said a spokesman for the non-profit organization Anti-Monopoly Monopoly Players.  “The vibrant community this has spawned could disappear if flows of capital are directed away from the people who make the Free Parking district great.”

The decline in the American dollar has recently led to reinvestment in Monopoly holdings, with new hotels recently built in wealthier neighborhoods such as Marvin Gardens.  Yellow squares Mayor Julie Annie Rudiger attributes the unfettered growth to her aggressive policing strategy, which has left Marvin Gardens tied with Pacific Avenue for the highest incarceration rate in the board.

Although Ms. Bishop’s request has led to controversy, she has remained steadfast in her desire to protect her interests.

“American money’s boring,” she said at a press conference in Los Angeles on Tuesday.  “It’s all green.  But I don’t like the white ones either.  I like pink best.  Pink is pretty.”

Conservative commentators have accused Ms. Bishop of exacerbating—or even creating—a lack of confidence in the American economy.

“What this is doing is shifting people’s thinking away from strengthening America,” said Walt Froman, a member of the Washington-based think tank America for the New Millenium.  “It’s going to weaken the dollar further if these high-paid, high-profile people keep positioning themselves further and further away from American interests.”

For his part, Rich Uncle Pennybags has remained unfazed by the development.  “Sometimes chance goes your way, sometimes it doesn’t,” he said.  “Just keep your fingers crossed for Community Chest and keep rolling those dice.”