PORT SAINT LUCIE, FL – Gangs are springing up in Wal-Marts around the country, but shoppers continue to risk it in search of good deals.
Gangs have recently been discovered which operate entirely within Wal-Mart stores. They have been seen attacking shoppers; taking their unpurchased items, stealing the wheels off their carts, or spray-painting their tags on customers. A few brave souls have sent warnings via text message or email to friends and family.
Henry Devino, a Massachusetts contractor, was assaulted just last week. After turning the corner into the wrong aisle, Mr. Devino was attacked. He was later found in the fabric section, caulked to a wall with Spongebob underpants over his eyes ($3.99) and bruises in the shape of a Tottino’s hard salami ($2.99).
“It was scary, but I’ll probably be coming back. In times like this, how can you say no to those prices?”
In places like Port Saint Lucie, Florida, Burlington, Vermont, and Stamford, Connecticut, shoppers are on high alert. Greeters in some stores have begun handing out Kevlar vests to women and children entering the store.
The gangs are believed to have originated with children and the elderly who became lost in the superstores and forgotten. Banding together for protection, they grew up and learned to survive in the tough aisles of Wal-Mart.
Given the massive size of most Wal-Mart superstores, the gangs are able to easily evade detection for weeks at a time.
A special Wal-Mart police force was called in at one store, resulting in a shoot-out in the linen section which claimed four lives and tens of dollars in ruined merchandise.
Police are issuing warnings of the Wal-Mart Gang initiation: the Big Rollback. The initiation involves a stolen chainsaw, riding lawnmower and several gallons of vegetable oil. After cutting a couch in half the initiate will do donuts in the riding lawn mower on an oil slicked floor, before disappearing back into the superstore.
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March 19th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Are you for real or is this a joke.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Are you for real, or is this a joke?
March 19th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Who can argue with Devino? Even if I got beat up by a pack of grannies I couldn't say no to the great prices.
March 19th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT THIS HAS TRAVELED ALL THE FREAKIN WAY TO DAMN TEXAS!!!! WHO EVER STARTED THIS YOU ARE BEYOND STUPID!!!!
THIS IS A WAY OF TERRORISIM JUST SO YOU KNOW!!!! SENDING TEXT TO PEOPLE SAYING THAT THERE IS GOING TO BE RANDOM SHOOTINGS AT WALMARTS PEOPLE BEING AFRAID THIS IS RIDICOULOUSE!!!! HOW ABOUT YOU FIND A POND AND JUMP IN IT OR BETTER YET CLEAN IT UP…
March 19th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
what the hell we nothing better to do than this. and if this is real shame on walmart for not doing a damm thing about it. i am surprise they have not been sued over this happening in there stores.
March 19th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I live in Jackson, Tn and last night 3 women were killed in Slemer, TN. just about an hour from here. They have advised people to not go to walmart, I don't know if anyone is, no one I know is going.
March 19th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I personally think it is ridiculous for a gang member to go into a public shopping area where there are families there, and shoot down three women just to be part of some gang. I have received text messages on my cell phone all day about this. People have told me its a hoax, but im still not going to chance it and go into a walmart anytime today.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
WOW. I live in Medina, TN and I didn't know about the Selmer incident. I didn't even know about this whole mess until my cousin from Hillsboro, MO told me. It's weird how I haven't heard anything from my school either. Yeah, I'm suprised that no one has sued Wal-Mart either, unless someone already has, but either way this an atrocity. I really hope no one else gets hurt because of some damn low-life, bottom of the bottle losers. People involved with gangs really provoke me..
March 19th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
This thing has travelled all the way to Las Vegas, Nevada. Don't know if something like that would happen here though,
March 19th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
i just read that this a hoax, that that's not true and people are getting scared about a rumor that's been proven false.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I love satires.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
WOW… That is really all I have to say… This just sounds FAKE….. Whoever wrote this, obviously had more time than brains… And for the people who believe this…. GET SOME PSYCHIATRIC HELP!
March 19th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
well, well well, what is this world comming to. I work in a mall and things are getting just as bad. the hood rats with no job. they would rater steal and hurt people and take what they have worked hard for. why? because they are lazy bullies that is why. it is easier to steal than earn a honest living like the rest of us
March 19th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
This is obviously a joke everyone.
First of all, read the article carefully. Do you not sense the humor in this article??? "The gangs are believed to have originated with children and the elderly who became lost in the superstores and forgotten. Banding together for protection, they grew up and learned to survive in the tough aisles of Wal-Mart."
ahahahahaha.
Also, if you were a gang member why would you kill someone on camera? walmart has cameras inside the stores as well as in the parking lot. Who even thought this rumor may be convincing????
no need to freak out.
Go to Walmart and buy yourself some candy.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Funny there is nothing on the national news or on the internet ( a reliable site,) about this & this would be BREAKING NEWS! Come on people, WAKE UP!
March 19th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
This is crazy that the world has come to this!!!!!! Do we not have enough respect for the children of our furture! All we show them is the life of violence is the only way,when all they need to worry bout is enjoying life and making somthing of thier life. If this true or not i am not riskn my life or family. I hate that i would even have to share this with my daughters!! Hopefully this is not somthing that will continue with the next generations. cherish your family you may never know when its their time! But Hell yeah this is some crazy shit! Okc,ok
March 19th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
ok …are you people seriously thinking this story is true? Did you even read it? "Banding together for protection, they grew up and learned to survive in the tough aisles of Wal-Mart"…Come on…its called satire…and for those of you who havent heard that word before, here's the definition..
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
Really….get a grip!
March 20th, 2009 at 1:11 am
Great article. Solid reporting. I am in the isle six gang. We'll cut you so bad that you'll wish we wouldn't cut you so bad.
March 20th, 2009 at 1:14 am
What amazes me is the time it takes to spread this stuff. I live in WA, received the first text from MO at 12:30 and my third by 5 from ID. It is scary alright but not the way you would think.
March 20th, 2009 at 1:17 am
It's Selmer and the people are still in such awe of Pusser, they wouldn't dare!
March 20th, 2009 at 1:28 am
I think this is hilarious! I have been to many different sights to look into this story and all of them have said the same thing. It's an urban legend. This report is great though. Any one taking this seriously needs to get a grip. A shoot out in the linen section costing tens of dollars… HA! Very funny.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:14 am
Please people – get a grip. Some out there are having a laugh at all of us even bothering to write ANYTHING about this. Surely we have better things to do…
March 20th, 2009 at 2:35 am
what do you propose they do?
March 20th, 2009 at 2:49 am
Oh my gosh this is so ridiculous. This hoax has floated around since '07. I live in Union City and know a few people at the wbbj tv station and at the Jackson Sun. No one can confirm this report of 3 women being killed. I also contacted the paper in Selmer, Tn. Completely UNTRUE! Geez. If this were true it would be HUGE news!!
March 20th, 2009 at 3:06 am
http://www.snopes.com/crime/gangs/walmart.asp
Nothing about walmart and woman dying has really been mentioned except at the site above and if you read it these are old rumors dating 3 years back. I think everyone is just getting paranoid
March 20th, 2009 at 3:24 am
"resulting in a shoot-out in the linen section which claimed four lives and tens of dollars in ruined merchandise"
Tens of dollars – best laugh I had all day.
March 20th, 2009 at 12:13 am
wow. iono i live in cali n i juzz heard bout it. i came 2 riverside 2 vizit and az im walkin thru da mall zum dude tellz me 2 not get near wal mart cuz diz gang initiation thing goyn on n dat a lady had juzz been shot der. haha wow iono if diz ztuff iz real bt i guezz.
March 20th, 2009 at 5:37 am
HILARIOUS!!!! Anyone who believes this needs to listen to the song, "Ocean Front Property" by George Strait, they will probable believe that, too!! I live in Oakdale, La, and there actually were cops sitting at our Wal-Mart, just in case something happened..it's a retarded city filled with retarded people, so why not, it's not like these stupid ass cops have anything else to do, right?
March 20th, 2009 at 6:23 am
Oh, Please.. How many more text messages am I gunna get about this? I'm in Cleveland, OH and it was "confirmed"(what ever! ) on Fox8 news that 3 women in Northeast Ohio were going to be shot at a local Walmart in a gang initiation- stay away from walmart! I never saw it. I looked it up but only found other cities that "say" it happened, (for example: ILL, Flor, and so on…) I'm sorry Mr. Davino that you were stuck to the wall with calk, i didn't know calk set up that fast, couldn't break away? I'm sure you weigh more than a bathroom tile- it's not super glue!, with Spongbob on your head and the media had the nerve to mention how much it costs to do it! Just gotta laugh, but yet, he will got back to Walmart cuz of the good prices! I'm sorry, but if this happened to me I would surely NEVER shop there again!
March 20th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Hey Meester Joker! With whatever is going on with Walmart , don't you think the police monitor these blogs? Umm, and you mentioned your "so called" gang name. Calling and emailing some police friends of mine to check it out…. gotta do my duty to wipe out the SLIME on the streets!
March 20th, 2009 at 10:38 am
I am going to need some of you to look up the word 'satire' in the dictionary.
March 20th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Please, a true gangster is a true criminal! "cutting a couch in half; do donuts in riding lawn mower in oil slicked floor". A true criminal does not have time for such nonsense! Probably some kid seeing how much of a riot he/she could stir up!
March 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
This is freakin hilarious!!!! Great article and the whole paranoia just added to the fun. Honestly, I can't belive people can't tell the difference between a blog and news. Hope this increases your readership and that the readers get a little more media saavy!
March 20th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
bullship
March 20th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
What about us Brits? We follow everything you guys do, first you give us recession now post recession super market mafia. Remember we've got Asda part of the Wal Mart 'family' Do you think we should scan the incoming customers, (if you scan 2 together it comes up as a multi buy discount) put all their belongings in a see through bag and all that ? Do you know if these people are members of Asda Jehad?
March 20th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I may not be a fan of Walmarts business practices, but they do offer good value for money merchandise. Obviously, some readers are not going to see the satirical comedy in this story and will believe what they see before them! Reginald, you have a good creative mind that should be tapped. I like to read some more stories like this. Thank you for the chuckle!
March 20th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
HAHAHAH laughin' my a** off. That's real creative, great job. Do you people actually think this blog is real? That's even funnier than the article!!!! Some people are so stupid, they just have no humor.
March 20th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
i agree
March 20th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
This is such bull***t
March 20th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Blue Light Special on Aisle 5
March 20th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Are you guys really this dumb? Do you really think children and the elderly are being lost at wal-mart and forgotten and then forced to continue living there? Do you really think some guy was caulked to a wall? Let's put our critical thinking skills to use.
This article is what we call "satire". I know it's a big word. Look it up. No, not in the "urban dictionary" look in a real dictionary.
*shakes head sadly
It's unbelievable that there's this many stupid people in the U.S. All Obama voters I'm sure.
March 20th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
This is too funny.
People, take a look at the site you're on.
March 20th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
this article contains the worst humor ever. there are gang initiations going on national (especially in georgia, texas, virginia, and alabama) where women and children of 3 are there prime targets and whoever wrote this article is making fun of the situation. whoever wrote this article is probably a retarded unfunny mofo who clearly needs too be shot by gang members.
March 20th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
thank you
March 20th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
ROFL! I don't know what's funnier. The original post or the paranoid comments it received…
The scientifically impossible I do right away
The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer
March 21st, 2009 at 12:48 am
it is funny that it is not on the news anywhere about the gang that is doing it… if it was true it would be all over the news ,newspaper,and everywhere people needs to quit this crap…
March 21st, 2009 at 7:06 am
woman & children are being given Kevlar vests for shopping? And they walk around the stores for weeks and cant be seen? This is so much BS you'd have to born yesterday to eat this up. But then again i did read some comments that have seen though this……oh yes f.y.i pajama momma being an Obama voter would not lower your IQ….
March 21st, 2009 at 12:45 pm
this is great!! i love this stuff!
March 21st, 2009 at 2:13 pm
YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET A FREAKIN GRIP AND SEE WHAT THIS WORLD IS COMMING TOO AND FOR THE ONES THAT JUST THINK THIS ISN'T REAL IS PROBELY THE ONES ON DRUGS. DO YOU THINK FOR A MINUTE THAT GANG MEMBERS GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT CAMERAS NO THEY DON'T DO YOU THINK THEY CARE ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYBODY NO THEY DON'T. THATS THE REASON ALOT OF KIDS IN THE WORLD R LIKE THEY R. BECAUSE PARENTS JUST LET THEIR KIDS DO WHAT EVER AND THEN THEY GET OUT HERE AND GET INVOLVED WITH THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE AND THEN THE GANGS JUST GROW AND GROW AND IT NEVER STOPS. THEY DON'T EVEN CARE IF THEY GO TO PRISON CAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THEIR BROTHAS AND SISTAS R OUT THEIR GETTIN IT DONE .SO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FREAKIN TRUTH PEOPLE. FOR THE ONES THAT R TAKIN THIS SEROUSLY MAY GOD BLESS U AND YOUR FAMILY AND PROTECT THEM FROM THIS CRAZY WORLD. FOR THE ONES THAT THINK THIS ISNT NOTHING AND FUNNY MAY GOD STILL LOOK OVER THEM AND PROTECT THEM AS WELL.
March 21st, 2009 at 2:13 pm
IF YOU HAVE KIDS FOR THE ONES THAT THINK THIS IS FUNNY AND NOTHING IF YOU LOVE THOSE SWEET LIL INOCENT KIDS YOU HAVE THEN YOU NEED TO PROTECT THEM AND TAKE THIS SERIOUS BECAUSE I'M SURE U SEE THINGS ON TV ALL THE TIME ABOUT LIL KIDS GETTING KILLED AND HURT BY THESE CRAZY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD SO PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITIATION. HAVE A BLESSED DAY AND BE SAFE
March 21st, 2009 at 6:03 pm
For you who are skeptic, my son-in-law of a detective in CT working this case.
March 21st, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Dur.
March 21st, 2009 at 11:12 pm
I settled in the camping supplies, If WM be a bad house, I be ready to handle the bad news. The baddest MF's are in the linen sections, Them bitches will cut you clean!!
March 22nd, 2009 at 12:53 am
LOL=D People believed this??? Riding Lawnmowers and Veggie Oil, LOL. Reminds me of The Onion.
March 22nd, 2009 at 3:00 am
Wow, crazy stuff…. I heard this stupidity all the way here in British Columbia Canada. A friend of mine at work got a text message from a friend warning people not to shop at walmart due to a gang going to kill three women….. nothing but a hoax… amazing to see just how far something like this can go… kinda creepy!
March 22nd, 2009 at 5:22 am
this blog my not be totally true but there are things going on in walmart. in beloit wi and janesville wi ppl were shot on friday and its all over the place weather or not its gang related who knows but something is going on…..
March 24th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Are you for real or is this a joke?
March 24th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
KUDOS to you!! LOL What a GREAt way spread some fear and cheer!!!
March 24th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
They don't its a BIG joke that has traveled EVERYWHERE!!! Im in new york and the schools here are buzzing about it!
March 24th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
IT'S a JOKEEE dont worry people!! COME ONE!!1 How gullable!
March 24th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
You haven't heard because its BULL SHI***
March 24th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Well, your comment was GOOD UNTIL you started the mofo and the wishing the writer to be shot…. YOU should seek forgivness form something higher!
March 24th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
AHAHAHAH well said… How bout the bruises in the shape of salami!!! LMAO
March 25th, 2009 at 12:46 am
SOME ONE JUST GOT SHOT IN MUSKEGON MICHIGAN LAST NIGHT
March 25th, 2009 at 12:47 am
WHAT EVER YOUR LYING
March 26th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Only in the USA ,You guys are brain washed, THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR FINGERS TO WORK, To the rest of the world it just makes you sound real DUM…..
March 29th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
WOW! I always thought something was going on in Wal-Mart! Maybe that's why the employees always run from you when you try to get help!
March 30th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
I can't believe this is happening, What am i gonna do now? It looks like my days of getting great bargains is over.
April 7th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
This is true! Me and my friends Timmy and Ed own the video game aisle. If you try to bump us
off the free game consoles, we will squirt you with a Heinz 24 ounce ketchup bottle ($2.19). If you
still bother us, we will strap you to a shopping cart and wheel you into the adult diaper section
where then you can deal with the Granny and Grampa gang.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
we all need to learn to live with what is giving to us.
April 11th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
"We'll cut you so bad that you'll wish we wouldn't cut you so bad."
Family Guy quote! I like it.
April 28th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
rye tye can we bone i promise i will not call or anything after
April 28th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
whats walmart do like….they sell wall stuff there
-paris hilton
April 28th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
shut up. ya because the bible tells me so.
the bible also says if your gay, surprise!!! your going to hell so second chance unless you pretend to be something your not
April 29th, 2009 at 3:56 am
My gang is moving over to K-Mart. That's where all the people who are afraid of Wal Mart are shopping now. So look out old people in your scooters, YOU CAN'T OUT RUN US!!!!!
May 14th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Kids, put on your bullet-proof vests, we're going to walmart. Word to your mother (but only in the privacy of the bathroom stall….so the gangs don't hear).
May 20th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Have some of you never read WWN?! Do you not understand the premise? It's like the Onion, only it's been out longer, you had to pay for it, and now it's not printed anymore.
It's a JOKE – like, on purpose.
Humor… it's so subjective.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
i went to wal-mart the other day looking for some hookers in the aisle corners but then the wal-mart gang came outa nowhere and stole at least $33.78 worth of groceries this is a REAL threat to american grocery shoppers everywhere and we must do somthing about it..they have even been seen using watercups in the McDs to get free soda and then refill them some more
June 5th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
LOL!! Aisle 6 represent!
June 15th, 2009 at 12:52 am
Ridiculous
June 17th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Gangs formed after June, 3 09 will fall under the economic stimulus package and will be eligible for Miley Cyrus steel jacketed ammo.
June 19th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Actually Wal-Mart already has an official name for those gangs, they’re called “Employees”.
Just beware of the “Greeters”, those guys are hardcore old school yo.
June 20th, 2009 at 5:19 am
well, Wal mart gangs are just rookies, here in Iowa the Target mob charges you 2% more in sales tax or you cannot leave the store. FBI has been investigating but apparently every time they catch someone they have to be released due to diplomatic inmunity.
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 am
This is not a joke. I lost a close friend when she went down the housewares isle during a gangland dispute. The frozen food mafia was fighting the ladies undergarment 510's. Please be careful when shopping.
August 2nd, 2009 at 1:17 am
THIS SITE SUCKS WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH A TWILIGHT PARTY REALLY? WHAT A WASTE OF TIME!