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CHARLIE SHEEN FINDS KUSHTAKA!

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Charlie Sheen went to Alaska to find Kushtaka (half-man, half-otter) and… he found him!

A month after his Loch Ness monster mission failed, Charlie Sheen headed to Alaska to find the mythic Kushtaka, which translates to “land ottter man.”

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Sheen went into the Alaska wilderness with his friend, Marla Palotta last week armed only with three cups of coffee and a “winning” attitude.

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Sheen saw Kustaka hiding in the brush and reportedly “pounced” on the beast.  “Sheen looked crazier than the beast.  I think Kushtaka was more afraid of him than Sheen was of Kushtaka,” said a local hunter.

Stories about the elusive Kushtaka originated among natives in Southeastern Alaska … and according to Charlie, it’s “a shape-shifting trickster who is half man, half otter. It lures one away from the campsite with the mimicked sounds of a crying baby, then kills you, takes on YOUR form, and returns to the scene for more suckers or prey.”

Sheen lured Kushtaka into his “trap” by howling like a wolf and singing Metallica songs at the top of his lungs.  Kushtaka appeared and Sheen… pounced.

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“I grabbed that Otter Man by the throat and I wouldn’t let go,” Sheen reportedly said.

Charlie said the thought Kushtaka was a “wimp” and that he plans to bring the beast back to Hollywood to display and mount in his house.

Congrats, Charlie!

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