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WHITE HOUSE BANS REPORTERS

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The White House announced today that due to the increasing number of scandals – reporters will not be allowed at The White House until further notice.

The White House is in damage control mode  as an escalating series of  scandals raised questions about whether officials abused their authority — all while threatening to undermine President Obama’s second-term ambitions.

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Because of the scandals, The White House has decided that reporters have begun a problem and a nuisance.  “How can President Obama push his agenda, when reporters are constantly asking him questions about these scandals.  He can’t do the job he was elected to do,” said a White House insider.

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The decision to ban reporters is particularly striking given the fact that the Justice Department secretly obtained two months of phone records from Associated Press journalists. The AP went public with the charge Monday, and quickly earned sympathy from lawmakers on both sides who widely agreed that the record grab appeared to be unnecessarily intrusive.

There was no sympathy from The White House.  “Hey, if reporters are going to try to undermine what the President is doing, we want to know about it,” a source close to The White House said.

“It’s a wise decision to ban reporters,” reportedly said former President, Bill Clinton.  “My second-term was negatively affected by that drummed-up Monica Lewinsky scandal.  It would be a shame if that happened to President Obama.  Reporters are part of the problem.”

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 The scandals do threaten to distract from Obama’s second-term agenda. He recently suffered a defeat on gun control, but was hoping to align with influential Capitol Hill Republicans to push for an immigration overhaul in the coming weeks. 

But now the President will not have to answer any questions from reporters.   Asked when reporters will be allowed back in the White House, a spokesperson said… “2017.”

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