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RED MOON OVER NEW YORK CITY

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A red moon rose over New York City.  Astrologers say it means everyone in New York City is now “chosen.”

Another reason for New Yorkers to think they are superior to all other humans on the planet.  A red moon hovered over the city and remained there far longer than it should have.

The moon seemed orange at first:

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But then it became bright red.

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New Yorkers all came out of their bars and restaurants – from their apartments  – to see the glorious moon.

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When told that astrologers believe that this red moon means that New Yorkers are “chosen” and shall lead the world over the next fifty years, New Yorkers were not surprised.

“Oh please, we are the best people on the planet.  Everyone has known that for the last two hundred years.  If you don’t live in New York, well… you’re a loser,” said Mandy Urgino, originally from Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Traditionally, the April full moon is known as “the Pink Moon,” supposedly as a tribute to the Grass Pink Orchids or Wild Ground Phlox, considered one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring.

Now… there’s the Red Moon rising.