ELFORD, Texas – For eons, scientists and philosophers have tried to uncover the secret of the universe. Last week, Jimmy Gallagher, 7, learned what it was.
How did he do it?
Like all kids, when he was curious about something Jimmy asked “why?” But unlike other kids, Jimmy didn’t stop. He asked “Why?” 10,000 times in a row, until he got to the bottom of everything.
“Jimmy’s first question was “Why is the sky blue?” said his father, Wayne. “I answered, ‘Becasue it’s not green.’ JImmy asked ‘Why?’ and I said, ‘Becasuse God made it that way.’
“I figured that would end it, but Jimmy kept asking. Before long we were into some pretty heavy theological areas.”
Wayne Gallagher told Weekly World News that after a while he had to call in a religious scholar. “I just didn’t have the answers anymore,” he said.
The scholar fielded some queries, but Jimmy kept asking “Why?” and before long the men brought in a panel of geologists, antrhopolgists, mathermaticians, sociologists, psychologists and other experts.
“It was amazing,” said Bernard Phelps, a professional philosopher. “The greatest thinkers in history have tried to unearth the meaning of life, but nobody’s ever thought about just asking ‘Why?’ until you get to the bottom of it all.”
The constant questioning took 18 days, with time off for sleeping, eating and soccer games. Finally at 9:27 p.m. of the 18th day, the final answer – the key that holds all teh answers to why we’re here and what it all means – was given.
“After that answer we were all silent. It was like the Heavens opened. It was profound and moving, humbling and exciting all at once. There was nothing else to ask.”
Weekly World News asked Jimmy if he would share the secret of the universe with our readers.
“Why?” Jimmy asked.
“Because,” we said.
He thought for a moment, then said, “Because why?”
Weekly World News hopes to be able to publish Jimmy’s final answer soon.
My brain cells committed suicide after I read this.
My brain cells just exploded
Why?
because
hahaha
Very interesting article…
WoW , nicely written:)
Guitar Chords
WHY????
POPE TO VISIT ST FRANCIS LAKE BEFORE STEPPING DOWN. ST FRANCIS LAKE near Lake Como in Northern Italy is to receive a visit from the Pope according to WEEKLY WORLD NEWS. However, this rather obscure periodical is hoping to boost its readership by the coincidental reporting of Frank Lake before he finally starts to write under his new name PONTIUS LAKE. Frank Lake is reported to be infuriated that the new pope had stolen his name to try and steal his 1.3 billion fans on here, hence his name change. Rumours of backhanders remain unconfirmed. No one at ST FRANCIS LAKE was available to comment, although Cardinal Ho Chu Monh admits that it is all the talk at Vatican breakfasts these days.
POPE TO VISIT ST FRANCIS LAKE BEFORE STEPPING DOWN. ST FRANCIS LAKE near Lake Como in Northern Italy is to receive a visit from the Pope according to WEEKLY WORLD NEWS. However, this rather obscure periodical is hoping to boost its readership by the coincidental reporting of Frank Lake before he finally starts to write under his new name PONTIUS LAKE. Rumours of backhanders remain unconfirmed. No one at ST FRANCIS LAKE was available to comment. although Cardinal Ho Chu Monh admits that its all the talk at breakfast in the Vatican these days
why are u writing this? and crapping in our face
what the fahhhhhh!