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THE ONION TO SHUT DOWN AFTER OFFENSIVE TWEET

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The Onion is shutting down over an offensive tweet it made about 9-year-old best actress nominee Quvenzhane Wallis.

While the top awards were being handed out Sunday at the 85th Oscars, the satirical news organization sent out a message on its official Twitter account calling  Wallis the C-word.

Jennifer Aniston was reportedly the only actress who thought the tweet was “hysterical”.

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The tweet, sent out around 8:42 p.m. PST, quickly made the rounds on the social media website. An hour later, the offending message was deleted from The Onion’s feed  and this morning The Onion announced that it would be shutting down.

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According to sources in The White House, President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama were so angry about the tweet that they called the publishers of The Onion and then, well… this morning, The Onion reportedly announced that it would be closing their offices on March 1st.

The Onion also claimed responsibility for Jennifer Lawrence tripping on the way up the stairs to get her Oscar.

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The C-word tweet wasn’t the only offensive tweet.  They also tweeted the N-word, the D-word and the A-word.  Plus they called Robert deNiro a “dago”.   Seth MacFarlane was referred to by The Onion as a “stupid mick” and Wood Allen (who wasn’t even at the Oscars) was called the K-word.

The Academy also joined the chorus of those disapproving of The Onion’s “humor.”   The official word from Quentin Tarantino was that The Onion was a bunch of “stupid beach sand n***ers”.

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The Onion has always defended their writers and editors and used the protection of “satire” to hide behind their tweets and posts.  But this time, they felt horrible.  “We apologize to anybody and everybody we offended last night.  Particularly all the c***ts, d****ags  and a****es in H ollywood.”

The Editors and staff of The Onion are going to undergo “sensitivity training” sponsored by the Government and they hope to all be working for Jay Leno by the end of next month.