BLACKBIRDS ATTACK KENTUCKY!

Millions of birds are attacking a small Kentucky city –  destroying buildings, parks and injuring thousands of citizens.

The blackbirds and European starlings blacken the sky of Hopkinsville, Kentucky, before roosting at dusk, turn the landscape white with bird poop, and the disease they carry can kill a dog and sicken humans, causing a number to die a slow and painful death.

They are swooping down and attacking humans – focusing on eyeballs and ears.  “These damn blackbirds practically ripped off my ears,” said Jud Buckman of Hopkinsville.  “My eldest son lost his left eyeball.  I’m gonna get out my shotgun and start shooting!”

“I have seen them come in, and there are enough that if the sun is just right, they’ll cloud your vision of the sun,” said Hopkinsville-Christian County historian  Jefferson Turnabot. “I estimate there are 30 million of them.”

Frank Chilean president of the Little River Audubon Society, said the fact that migratory flocks are roosting in the city rather than flying further south is because of Global Warming.   “The birds are confused by the climate and they are acting out… getting aggressive. The weather, the climate plays a big role,” said Chilean.

“They establish a roost south of where the ground is frozen solid,” he explained. “They are ground feeders, feeding on leftover crops and insects. If the fields are frozen solid, they can’t feed.  So, here they are in Kentucky.  They are vicious and… scary.”

Thousands and thousands of Kentucky residents are fleeing the state temporarily.  “Many are heading South to Louisiana and Mississippi, but a number are also heading to Detroit – where they can live cheaply,” said a representative for the Governor of Kentucky.

President Obama has order “air canons” be used to “kill as many birds as possible.   The President has also authorized the Army to use drones to kill the birds.  Some fear that some humans may die because of the drones, but The White House told WWN:  “Hey, when you’re killing millions of birds, you’re bound to have some collateral damage.”

When they fly away, the birds leave behind a huge volume of excrement.  And the excrement is causing the citizens that are remaining in Kentucky to get sick.

“I’ve got an apple tree that has almost turned white,” Tribble said. “Any vehicle parked outside is covered up. I guess it’s good for folks that have car washes.”

Scientists say that the blackbirds may head to Washington, DC next.  “And they’re eating a lot