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DOG MAYOR FACES POUND FOR CORRUPTION CHARGES

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In the small town of Chatsworth, Ill., one public official is facing big problems. Bulldog Gus Bonesly, who took mayoral office in 2010 after what was supposed to be a joke candidacy, has come under fire for unsavory tactics in his leadership of the town. Embezzlement, voter intimidation, drug peddling — these kinds of charges have been seen in local government before, but never at the hands (or paws) of a canine mayor.

“It’s unprecedented,” said one member of Chatsworth City Council, who asked to not be named. “This guy has just lifted his leg and soiled all over the law. He may get the pound for this.”

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Opponents said they began to question the Bonesly’s integrity after an alleged assault that took place during a private office meeting. Bonesly and a staffer were playing a game of political — and reportedly, literal — tug-of-war in the office when the animal snapped at the other’s hand. Since then, officials have supposedly been trying to come up as many charges as possible since the young mayor can literally not defend himself.

“It’s pathetic,” says Dollie Burdette, former owner of Bonesly before he took office. “He’s always been the sweetest boy. I think his opponents are just sore after losing to him. He can not respond to these charges — he can’t speak. Most of us think he’s brought the town together, if anything. Tell you what, it’s going to come back to bite his opponents.”

If convicted, Bonesly will most certainly be sent to a local shelter for his actions, though lawmakers have assured the public that this would be a “no-kill” shelter. Weekly World News will continue to follow this story.