By decree, President Obama created a new religion that all Americans are automatically part of. The new religion is called – Obamism.
“Obamism is the belief that Barack Obama is the messiah and that he has come to America to save its citizens and heal the planet,” said a source close to The White House.
The other night, Jamie Foxx let the cat out of the bag, when he declared President Obama the “messiah, our Lord savior.”
A White House spokesperson said that she believes the Congress will sign a bill that approves the national religion. ”Some in Congress are skeptical and afraid of trampling on the First Amendment, but once they read the Book of Barack and sign the bill, they will see the light,” said a leading Congressional Democrat.
“Once everyone sees what it is the religion, they will learn to accept it and even love it,” said Nancy Pelosi, the leader of Congressional Democrats.
Some of the basic tenets of Obamism:
1) EQUALITY FOR ALL. Every citizen should live the same way in America and receive the same healthcare, benefits and income.
2) RICH PEOPLE ARE EVIL. Those that hoard their money are sinners. Obamism calls for a leveling of the playing field and calls for the one percent of income earners to pay 90-95% of their income to the government.
3) GOVERNMENT IS CHURCH. The U.S. Government is the official institution of Obamism. The White House is equivalent to St. Peter’s Cathedral in Vatican City. Those who refuse to honor government, who refuse to acknowledge that Barack Obama is the Messiah, will be sent to internment camps and/or will have all their money confiscated by the government.
4) BARACK OBAMA IS THE MESSIAH. This is not just a political slogan or a off-handed statement by some of the President’s followers. It is the truth.
5) MICHELLE OBAMA IS THE HOLY MOTHER. Michelle Obama is the greatest woman who has ever lived. She sleeps with the Messiah. She is, ergo, a co-Messiah.
6) ALL ARE WELCOME. President Obama will open the U.S. borders to all that proclaim him The Messiah. If you do not believe Obama is the Messiah – you can’t come in.
7) BE LIKE BARACK. Model your life on the life of our savior, Barack Obama. That inclues smoking until the age of 48. That includes smoking pot. That includes playing basketball and listening to Jay-Z.
Obamism will officially be the religion of America on March 31st of 2013.