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THE DAY TWINKIES DIED

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Hostess Brands, hurt by a slowdown brought on by a strike by its Bakers Union, is shutting down.

The move will result in the loss of 18,300 jobs at its 36 bakeries and more than 550 distribution centers around the country.

Hostess is expected to auction off its valuable brands – including Twinkies, Wonder Bread, Ho-Ho’s and Ding Dongs – as part of its liquidation process.

Twinkie lovers across the country erupted in protest:

It got violent in some cities.  With some men unwilling to give up their Ding Dongs.

Some Twinkie lovers took it in stride and vowed to find a Twinkie substitute.

Twinkies (and Hostess) has been in business 82 years.

The company’s bakers had been striking all week against the bankrupt company protesting steep pay and benefit cuts, and the strike held long enough in enough of its 36 plants to cripple America’s biggest bakery.

These are the last Twinkies rolling down the line:

Millions of Americans grew up on Twinkies and HoHos and DingDongs.  “I eat a Twinkie at least once a day,” said Cindy Macomb of South Bend, Indiana.  “If I don’t have a Twinkie every day, I’ll die.  I will.  They’ve been with me through everything.”

Psychologists across the country are preparing for Twinkie Withdrawal Syndrome (TWS).  “It sounds like a joke, but it’s real.  Many people feel comforted by Twinkies, and Ding Dongs and when they are taken away cold turkey like this… it can cause a great deal of psychological stress,” said Dr. Virginia Albertson of North Carolina.

Police Departments in many cities are preparing for a riots at 7-11s and other delicatessens.  “People are very angry.  But we are prepared,” said Sgt. Tom Jackson of the Charleston Police Department.

‘Tis a sad day in America.