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After the re-election of Barack Obama, 20 states have declared they will secede from the union.

President Obama is facing an avalanche of requests by citizens of numerous states requesting permission to secede from the union.  The Attorneys General of these states have also petitioned the U.S. government for permission to secede.

President Obama who reportedly has “no use” for the Southern states, may sign an Executive Order, allowing certain states to form their own government.  “I can see President Obama allowing 11 southern states to go it on their own,” said a source close to the White House.  “It would save the government a lot of money, and it would make the U.S. more blue.”

Insiders say that the President actually would like to form a new country that looks like a “ring” around the old country.  “President Obama feels that if all the coastal states and border states remained in the U.S., then we can give up those states that just hang around in the middle.  That would be fine with the President.”  Obama is particularly anxious to “get rid” of the Southern “albatross.”

But it’s not just Southern states that want to secede.  The list includes New York and Pennsylvania.  “New York has never felt that it was part of  this country,” said a White House spokesperson.  “Governor Cuomo feels that New York is more akin to England and France and wants New York to join the European Union.  President Obama understands the Governor’s concerns, but he’d like to keep New York in the fold. So that request will be denied.”

In order to petition the U.S. government for permission to secede a state needs at least 25,000 signatures.  In just one week, Texas has gathered over 1 million signatures and hopes to have every citizen in the state sign the petition.  Mississippi already has signatures from 96% of its citizens.

So, New America will have 30 states and the Old America will have 20.

Here is the full list of states that plan to secede from the union:

  • Missouri
  • Pennsylvania
  • Arizona
  • Oklahoma
  • Arkansas
  • South Carolina
  • Georgia
  • Kansas
  • Tennessee
  • New York
  • Virginia
  • South Carolina
  • Indiana
  • Mississippi
  • Kentucky
  • Florida
  • North Carolina
  • Alabama
  • Texas
  • Louisiana