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MITT ROMNEY MOVES TO CAYMAN ISLANDS

romney_caymanZ

Mitt Romney has left the United States and is moving his entire family to the Cayman Islands.

Mitt Romney advisers described what it was like to be with the former governor as he came to terms with his loss. “He was shellshocked,” one adviser told WWN.   “He immediately made plans to leave the U.S. for good.”

Sources tell WWN that Romney is afraid that the U.S. will now enter an economic freefall and he wants to protect his family and, more importantly, his money.

Romney has reportedly kept a lot of his vast fortune in the Cayman Islands for the last two decades and that he wants to be closer to his money in case he has to “make a quick run for South America.”

On a separate note, President Obama issued an Executive Order that confiscates all money that is hidden in the Cayman Islands.  “If Mitt Romney wants to bury his head in the sand on a beach down there, that’s fine.  But if he thinks he’s going to hide his money away, and not give at least 80% of it to the government, then he’s sorely mistaken,” a White House source said.

Romney’s wife, Ann, is reportedly planning on opening a “bead” business on the beach, while her children and grandchildren plan on converting the whole island to Mormonism.   Meanwhile, Mitt Romney has purchased a one million dollar jet-ski and is planning on growing a beard.