Pundits on all major networks agree… Barack Obama annihilated Mitt Romney in tonight’s townhall debate.
All eyes were on Hofstra University Tuesday night for the second presidential debate between President Barack Obama and his opponent, Mitt Romney. The town hall format gave both candidates a chance to shine.
According to 100% of pundits polled by democratic pundits, President Obama won the debate in dramatic fashion. “Hands down. He won,” said Paul Begala. “He destroyed Romney. He won before he even started. As soon as President Obama smiled at the crowd, he won. Mitt Romney showed his true self tonight. He proved himself to be a man who would kill a cancer patient if he had the chance, or throw an old woman off a cliff. That’s the Mitt Romney we saw tonight.”
All the democratic pundits called Barack Obama the victor even BEFORE the debate started. “Democratic pundits are the best in the world, that’s why we get paid so much damn money,” said James Carville, a former Clinton adviser and top Democratic pundit.
“We wrote the headlines for the NY Times this morning, calling the debate for President Obama. That’s how sure we were that he was going to win,” said Stu Lightman, editor of the New York Times.
During the debate, President Obama reportedly called Mitt Romney out on his 47% remark, his Bain Capital misfires and the billions of dollars that Mitt Romney has hidden in a bunker in Sweden.
President Obama claims that Romney hid vast amount of cash in Sweden since 2002. “Mitt Romney robbed children and senior citizens, then he had the cash shipped to Sweden. He’s a criminal. He should be locked up in the big house, not the white house,” David Axelrod reportedly said.
President Obama also pointed out that Mitt Romney wanted women to wear chastity belts again and that he wanted to send ALL hispanics back to Mexico.
The debate was held at Hofstra University, which is 25 miles away from New York City. The eighth largest mall in America, Roosevelt Field, sits nearby, along with the Nassau Coliseum. President Obama went shopping there before the debate – he was looking for his “big boy” shoes – according to campaign insiders.
CNN’s Candy Crowley moderated the debate, but she was not allowed to speak. She used hand gestures to indicate to the candidates when it was their turn to answer a question. Crowley tried to say a few words, but she was under strict orders not to say anything at all about President Obama. She did have one question for Mitt Romney: “Governor Romney, are you still robbing banks?”
Crowley was not happy that she was silenced for the debate:
Mitt Romney is flying to Utah tonight to regroup and recharge. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is going to perform a “healing concert” for the Republican candidate. “He’s probably going to get a pair of golden underwear at the ceremony” said a top Romney aide.
Meanwhile, President Obama celebrated his victory by giving every resident of Ohio $50,000 in cash – provided that they vote for him (at least once) on November 6th. “The President wants to help the little guys that help him,” said a campaign insider.
Congratulations to President Obama!
Yes, congratulations, Mr. President, you are assured of your pink slip on November 6th!!!
Yes congrats to Obama for being the first person ever to get his butt kicked by a Mormon pastor on national tv! Romney is also more successful than Obama financially, and I see that as experience and something to aspire to and not smear. Romneys vision is for us not only to provide for our own families, but also to be financially abundant so we can help or neighbors, unlike our current situation where we can barely supply our own families. Romneys is the clear choice for all Americans in all parties!
What a crock! The debate isn't even over and you've called a winner….the 47% wasn't mentioned….Bain Capital wasn't mentioned.
Um you need to hit replay. He mentioned the both the disparaging 47% comment and Romney at Bain. It was during the last 30 min.
Obama is sincere. Romney is a liar, a fake man.
Yeah, Obama is sincere, a sincere loser!
It doesn't get any 'faker' than Obozo!!!
You're a delusional pig who supports the worst president in history who is, coincidentally, a pathological liar – and America-hater, AND Marxist, AND anti-Semite, AND racist, AND brain dead ignoramus who has zero knowledge of economics.
Romney is a pastor, so it was hard for us to watch Obama lose another fight with him! Obama was clearly destroyed in the first 30 mins of the debate, and at one time I thought mitt was gonna go over to Obama and cut his hair like a bully. Really Obama? Are you gonna let a pastor beat you up in front of the world like that? What a loser! Romney was the clear winner with a clear solution for getting the economy back.
How did you determine the winner when this article was posted two hours before the debate even started?..
This was posted before the debate even happened…reporting fail.
agree, total misrepresentation when a debate winner has been proclaimed beforedebate has even started? I am voting for Obama already, but this is why the press is untrusted and why the press wil cost our man the election. Clearly, the press no longer has our back.
Joe
Lame. So one question – Why has Obama missed more than half his National Security meetings as president? If I missed important meetings like that I would be fired:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/why-is-oba…
You do realize that Obama doesn't miss any security briefings. This lie has been debunked over and over again but Fox and Rush will never report on it because they have contempt for you and know that you will never ever think independently or fact check what they say. If Fox and Limbaugh told you the earth was flat, you would be posting that "fact" all over the internet and then argue with people who insist the earth is really round. Do you also believe the NY Yankees beat the Detroit Tigers tonight?
Most presidents never had in-personal security meetings every day. Bush Jr. started it because he didn't want to take the time to read the security notes that the president receives daily.
I agree how can you declare a winner before the debate bc all over internet posts claim Romney brought it again
Every poll I have seen tonight shows Romney won and I agree
Then you must be blind
better check those polls again. Don't know what planet you were visiting.
Good lord. It seems the Republican astro-turfers defending Romney here don't even realize what site they're on.
haha….. i know i am a republican, and was laughing as clearly this site is just having fun……. then i started reading the comments and coudln't believe people took it serious.
Is that all you liberals have? Romney is a liar, Romney hates woman, and your 47 percent remark? Obama has a record and it is a failing record. Obama lied about Lybia and so did that idiot fat moderater. Liberals live in their own world. If facts don't support them than they make up their own facts. They want a debate win so bad they declare victory before the debate even starts. To make things worse they believe their own lies. What a world.
Clever! Way to drive traffic to your site. I gotta hand it to ya'll at HQ. BTW big fan of the satirical. Keep up the foolishness folks, big fan :-]
Worst article I've read lol!!
I don't know about the rest of you, but I take the Weekly World News as gospel — at least on a par with the Onion — and hold it to the highest of reportorial standards. That's why I'm enraged, consumed with fury, fuming, fulminating, emitting white-hot steam from my ears, possessed by the Furies and generally disappointed by the failure of the news staff to report accurately that Willard Romney has not personally killed a *single* senior citizen.
How dare you make up quotes on this news-satire site, and how dare you imply that Obama won a debate that everyone who prognosticated knew perfectly well turned out identically to the one on October 3, when Romney wiped the floor with Obama by pointing out that his failed policies were so bad that they rippled back through time to create the entire $16 trillion deficit, and then rippled forward to increase it to $210 trillion in 2048, under President Winston Salem?
What you guys need to understand is. If romney enters the White House as President this country is going to be destroyed he is going to creat wars with Several countries, the same countries OBAMA has made Peace with. Are you gonna vote for romney??? That's not even a question I know I'm not going to vote for him.
A note to tag
like your mommie taught you …Keep your hands to yourself.
and
Once a liar always a liar
Why worst @ luke
Congrats! Mr. OBAMA. One thing i like the most beautiful during whole elections. The dressing sense of these two guys as really informative and decent. When they wear mens business shirts with blazer it really creates some important message to mind that to provide quality to every human being. As dressing sense truly represent some hidden thoughts.